Let sleeping preschoolers lie…

We’ve been having a rough day.  Our little guy is possibly not feeling good or preparing for a growth spurt or… pick your issue.  It’s been a morning of grumpiness, tears, and endless cycles of “I want something else,” whenever the topic of food comes up.

So I sat down in the rocking club chair, preparing to put on shoes so we could hunt down refreshing salad and fruit (it seems perfect for a hot summer’s day), when I suddenly had a fractious, but determined small guy on my lap.  He fidgeted and fussed, but then, suddenly, I could feel a slightly raspy purr of a rumble coming through his back.  He was out.  He was out so hard that I could feel the snores vibrating against me.

I sat, for the longest time, enjoying what has become a rarity these days and just watched him sleep.  He is so fair that his skin is almost translucent.  His eyelashes have darkened and are long and thick.  He was breathing deeply, exhaling breaths mixed with toothpaste and little boy breath.  He truly seemed to be completely sacked.

Then I tried to shift myself so I could get comfort.  No worries there – he was still out and I was in the clear.  Then I eased up out of the chair, trying to keep him steady and comfortable.  Still good.

It was only after I’d worked my way up the stairs, down the crowded hall and finally gotten him on his bed that his eyes opened.  “I don’t want to be on the bed…”

This is where sneaky mom tricks come into play…  “That’s ok, we’ll just sit here on the bed for a bit.” And then I let loose with the ultimate in the mom arsenal – rubbing the back.

Pook.  Out like a light and I got that rumbly vibration going in his back again.

I love those snores and I love it when he gets his nap.  He’ll be grumpy with me when he wakes up, because he wanted to get “something” to eat, but a good snooze will restore most of his humor and maybe give me a chance to rest for a moment too.

I wonder how long the rubbing of the back will work?  I wonder if Bren will let me give it a shot?  I know it works on Todd too.

hmmmm…..

cheers,
moonfire

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Is that sunshine coming in the window?

It’s going to hit 98 degrees on Monday.  What misery this will be.  Normally we don’t see those kinds of numbers until late in July, but here we are, in June and the first of those days shows up.  Bah.

Today will be hot enough, thank you, at 85 degrees.  And no, I don’t like hot weather.  So let’s just get this over now and expect my cranky factor to increase linearly with the heat.  Luckily it’s not exponential, or we’d have a really BIG problem.

But it’s Saturday and we are going to continue our progress in packing and cleaning.  Todd is working on his class right now… I’m waking up and recovering from a very poor night’s sleep…  The kids are quiet, but that is deceptive, as they will surface in a bit and the noise level/chaos level will increase dramatically.

This past week at work was good, but it was like the eye of a storm.  There is so much coming ahead for me, that I could get overwhelmed if I stop to consider too closely.  I used the time to regroup a bit and got some things done.  There is so much more I could have done and I wonder if there was enough time in each day?  I also wonder how long it will take until I find my footing enough to feel comfortable that I won’t make some enormous and grievous error.  Not that it won’t happen that I’ll make an error, but rather I won’t be in a state of worry that I will.

Time to get going.  I need to make my goal list for the day and start knocking things off it, one at a time.  I’m also going to post some reminders for myself.  I’ve got a couple things that are potential to be forgotten.  I just DO NOT need that.

Welcome sunshine.  And welcome Summer.

moonfire

Must get Bren up and running

Just found an awesome kid blog through Whisky in My Sippy Cup…  Here’s the link, check it out:  http://www.kidtestlabs.com/

I want to get Bren set up doing his blog thing.  Why?  Transparent reasons, actually…  I want him to practice writing.  I’m totally willing to be the typist.  I’ve got no problems with that at all.

But he needs to start letting some of this stuff out.

…so I read KTL and got happy.  Perhaps I can persuade him now!

And yes, I’m aware it has been a while since they’ve posted.  I can sympathize.  Why is it so easy to keep putting stuff off??

Anyway, that’s the plan.  Will it take 2 or 5 years to execute?  I hope not.

****HOLY CRAP.  Looks like they are based (or were) out of Vancouver, BC.  How cool is that?  When I tell Bren, he’s going to go insane with happiness.  Ok.  I might be exaggerating that point a bit, but I was insanely happy.  And Kari may chuckle over it.  And we’ll have to tell Tess about it.  …but I’m babbling, as is likely to happen sometimes.

And just WHAT is the plural of thermos anyway?  Hmmm….

oh yeah, now I’m tired.

There is something extremely fatiguing about being new in a job and constantly trying to figure things out.  Then you add to that sorting through your dusty, miscellaneous crap in an effort to NOT move it, yet again, to a new abode.

I feel incredibly grubby after a scant hour of this torture tonight.  The up side was sorting through my sewing stuff and weeding out patterns I’m unlikely to use (ever).  I found some of my projects that could potentially create that impetus to lose the weight that has been hanging on.  Then there is the fact that I’m spending each evening bending, lifting, stooping, pressing, packing and in general organizing.  I rather imagine that all this minor, but consistent, activity will lighten my load in more than one way.

During the course of this weeding out, I’ve had time to look at the contents of our home and translate it to the bigger picture of what the hell I’m doing with my strange meanderings called “education.”  I have come to a few conclusions about it, hopefully well-thought out and practical from certain standpoints, even as I cringe at the student loan debt I’m accruing.

I’ll contact KSU and let them know that I need to stay with my current ISM program.  It pains me, because I would love that program, but I love my database book and my five classes on database and database administration that are upcoming.  If I ever have the opportunity to pick up KSU’s class on diversity and the one on student development, I’ll pay for them out of my own pocket and do them for my own pleasure.

No, I’m not going to apply back into the university where I am currently working.  I know I get the fee waiver and it means an inexpensive degree, but it also means face-to-face classes (which are a bitch on our schedule) and it means an additional 1-2 years.

And then there is the value of the ISM, both on campus in my current (and hopefully permanent) department, as well as off campus.  Nothing is a sure thing, so having a degree that has value on a broader scale is a good thing.  Really, I just want to stay planted where I am and get out of the “noob” misery I’m in.  I will make a good living there, doing something that helps people yet satisfies my logic and analytical side.  Mostly, I think I’m hedging my bets.

I guess that’s all I can say about it really.  The debt is hideous.  But that train came and went.  So whining about it does no good.  What does help is having a plan and a backup plan or two.

In a moment (or several) of irony, I would never counsel a student to follow in my shoes.  This likely falls in the almost parental “do as I say, not as I do” category.  At least I fully understand the ramifications of my situation.

I am wiped out and it is time to get the kids into bed.  Tomorrow is another busy day, both at work and at home.  By the time I get to Friday evening, I will probably fall on the floor and fade into a pile of dust.  Or maybe not, since getting this project accomplished means a happier living space for us.

signing off before I keel over on the keyboard… moonfire

Happy Father’s Day, Honey…

Todd and I worked our butts off today – sorting, packing, discarding, etc.  We are working hard to prep for our move.  We did take some time off and headed out to his folks’ place for dinner.  As we were driving home, I looked over at his profile while we were laughing about something and I saw his laugh crinkles alongside his eyes.  They are so beautiful, it takes my breath away.  I love his floppy hair and his smile and his sense of humor.  I love that he played with the kids in his mom’s yard.  I love that it has been almost 13 years of us together and his can still make me laugh, make me sigh, make me totally insane.

He’s a great dad.

Happy Father’s Day, honey…

love from your crazy wife

tidbits at 5:45am

It’s Saturday and here I am, awake at 5:30am [again].  I use the term “awake” loosely, because I’m still thrashed and I will go back to bed shortly.

But I have much pinging around in my head and the choice is toss and turn in bed, thinking too much… or get up, blog, walk the dog, then go back to bed.  Seems clear cut to me.  I suppose.  This means a pseudo insomnia blog, because technically I’ve had 7 hours of sleep so it doesn’t truly qualify as insomnia.  It’s more a case of “what the hell is my damned body up to???”

Status check on the “Great 2010 House Rental Search” – found one.  Todd told his dad that I turned into a pit bull over it and I tend to agree.  I got my aggression on.  Ok.  To clarify, I was just VERY assertive.  I got over to the viewing of the house yesterday morning and there were two other couples… a young, sort of “hip” couple and an older couple with a baby.  I had already driven by the property to look at the exterior on Thursday night, so I was primed.  I knew that unless the interior was truly horrible (given the particular location, unlikely), it was exactly what we wanted.

The property manager got there and all three groups (well them and me) went in.  Todd didn’t actually show up with the kids until a bit later, but I’ll get to that.

I walked through the front door and I just knew.  It was perfect for us.  Walking through it, with the existing renter there with her three very small children, was slightly uncomfortable because I already knew this was it.  But we smiled and did our thing,  a very gently curious looking through the space.  We all apologized to “M” the current renter, because here we were, tromping through her home!

After looking, we gathered together where the property manager explained that she’d take applications until 5pm, and then they’d run them and choose whoever was the best candidate.  Scary, but I was not backing down.  I had my application completed from the night before and I was pulling out my checkbook.  The nice couple with the baby returned their application unfilled and left.  The young couple left with an application, but it didn’t look like they were going to do it.  The agent turned to me and said, “Well, it looks like it’s yours if you want it!” And I said “Yes!”

Todd arrived about this time with the kids and they looked through, but I was already writing out the check.  She looked over our application and said she didn’t see anything that would prevent it from going through – YES!  And then we had a short chat with M who told us the neighbors were great… there is a park a short walk away… and the rapport between M and the PM was very good.

Todd told me later that he knew as soon as he drove up that it was the one, but walking in confirmed it and talking to M sealed the deal.

Now here is the funny part of the story…  On Wednesday night, after looking at a couple homes that made me cringe and driving around neighborhoods, desperately looking for something that was right for us, I made a whiny comment to Todd about how I just wanted to live in L*, the neighborhood/sub where we found this place.

We got home and I pulled up Craigslist for about the millionth time in 1 1/2 weeks.  It was about 8pm.  At 6:18pm the property in L* was posted.

I asked… and there it was…

When I talked to the PM to schedule viewing the property, I asked about our sweet old dog, Danny.  On Craigslist the property said dogs were fine, but on the management site it said no pets.  I told Todd we’d have to put Danny in a dress and call him “Aunt Flo”.  Yeah.  I was sick waiting to find out about whether or not they would take him.  When I talked to the PM she immediately told me pets were negotiable and asked what breed he was.  I told her golden/collie mix and she said, “Oh we LOVE those!!”

Can you believe it?

The right price….  3 bed/2 bath…  2 car garage… fully fenced back yard…  living room AND family room, so the kids can each have their own rooms and we can have our office/studio….  dining area with linoleum (our current has carpet, so we NEVER eat at the table)…  cul de sac off a dead end street…  park…  trees…. ROSES….  storage space…  and it’s in the neighborhood where (hard work and degrees done willing) we want to buy eventually.

And we’ll still be in Bren’s school zone.

Do I sense guardian angel poop on my shoulder?  Yes, I do.

Yes… I know we don’t have the approval yet.  I’m trying not to think about that part, but in truth there is no reason at all that our application won’t sail through.  For a moment I thought about not writing about it because of a slightly superstitious feeling about the whole thing, but that passed because it simply felt so right.  We walked in and we knew this was going to be home.  And it was built in 1986, so it’s showing the wear from being a rental…  that and the blue carpet totally thrill me.  Why?  No more beige carpet with children!  And with a slightly worn house, I know that we can live in it comfortably without that endless paranoia that the children will do something that mars it.

(funny how it’s the kids that are a concern and not the dog, huh?)

****

If I stop to do a status check, I’m almost overwhelmed at where we are.  I have a career position that challenges me, that is harder work than I’ve ever had to do.  I work for the organization I want to work for, doing something that makes sense for me.  My husband is thriving in his degree program and was on the “President’s List” for the spring semester with a 4.0 GPA.  My kids are sweet, funny, loving, and keep me on my toes.  Our dog is a loving fuzzball who desperately needs a furminator (I’m working on that), but he’s family.  We have our wonderful family close by (most of you) and we have great friends.

And now we’ve found a place to live that will let us get back to being a family, rather than being in the middle of cigarette smoke/noisy parties/fast driving and no contained yard.

I wonder if they’ll let me transplant some of my clematis? hmmmm….

****

So I’m just sending out a thank you to the powers that be or to fate or to whatever you choose to call it.  Now if we could just figure out a way to massively cut the cost of my ISM degree so I can stay in it, that’d be swell.

Time to take sweet dog for a walk.  And then I’m crawling back into bed for whatever extra sleep I can grab.  Today is the big day with the Mie Mie kids.  OH!!  Todd’s dad took us and Uncle M and Aunt C to see Karate Kid last night.  Whoa.  I can’t attest to the quality of the kung fu (and yes, the title seems dumb from that respect), but it was a wonderful movie.  Jaden Smith was great, but Jackie Chan was truly amazing.  He has always been the ham and in this one he was poignant and showed depths I never could have believed.  The mom was perfect – I found myself laughing simply because it was exactly how I would have responded.

And for those who say Jaden Smith can’t act – were you even watching??  Have you ever been around children that age???  He nailed it.  He has a bright future ahead.  I hope his mom and dad are keeping a strict watch on how things go for him because he has so much future I’d hate to see it derailed by that “child star” crap.  Somehow, though, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith don’t strike me as the types of parents to let that happen.

I’d love to thank the people who wrote it and worked on it.  I can’t gauge how much of what was represented about China was accurate (hopefully quite a bit), but it was gorgeous and I completely understood the discomfort of that little boy, plunked down in a place he didn’t understand – far away from everything comfortable and familiar.  When I was 12, I moved to a foreign country and I was lost at first too.  I wanted to be home, in my country, with my friends and family.  At least language wasn’t a barrier, but the culture?  boy… was that strangely different.

And yep, I moved from Canada to the US.

All I have to say is this… the culture grew on me, as did the people.  Now I’m a citizen here and I have my family here AND there.

Thanks for reading today.  I hope Saturday brings you good things.

moonfire

oh hell.

I just received my acceptance letter to KSU for the Master’s in Academic Advising.

The day before, I received my text for my first database class.

KSU = Substantial decrease in the cost of my remaining education and I really want these classes, plus this option would allow me flexibility on campus if I should ever decide I would like to move in to another area.

Keller = Master’s in Information Systems Management, a lot more student debt, and a career path for the future within my current department.

I would graduate at the same time, regardless of which program I choose.

KSU would be more academically rigorous.

With Keller, I already know the system.

oh hell.

I have to think on this.  I thought it would be easy to just walk away or ask if we could delay my enrollment for two years.  Now that I have it in hand, it’s a much tougher thing to do.  And what if I’m turned down for GRAD Plus loans to finish my current program?  I’ll definitely run out of money before I finish.  What then?  I wouldn’t be able to finish my current plan AND I wouldn’t have the financial leeway to do the KSU plan.

And for the record, I checked to see if KSU has an IS or IT Master’s program.  They don’t.  Neither does my current university where I am employed (as a lifer).

I think I will go bang my head against the wall.  It will feel better than this.