There is something extremely fatiguing about being new in a job and constantly trying to figure things out. Then you add to that sorting through your dusty, miscellaneous crap in an effort to NOT move it, yet again, to a new abode.
I feel incredibly grubby after a scant hour of this torture tonight. The up side was sorting through my sewing stuff and weeding out patterns I’m unlikely to use (ever). I found some of my projects that could potentially create that impetus to lose the weight that has been hanging on. Then there is the fact that I’m spending each evening bending, lifting, stooping, pressing, packing and in general organizing. I rather imagine that all this minor, but consistent, activity will lighten my load in more than one way.
During the course of this weeding out, I’ve had time to look at the contents of our home and translate it to the bigger picture of what the hell I’m doing with my strange meanderings called “education.” I have come to a few conclusions about it, hopefully well-thought out and practical from certain standpoints, even as I cringe at the student loan debt I’m accruing.
I’ll contact KSU and let them know that I need to stay with my current ISM program. It pains me, because I would love that program, but I love my database book and my five classes on database and database administration that are upcoming. If I ever have the opportunity to pick up KSU’s class on diversity and the one on student development, I’ll pay for them out of my own pocket and do them for my own pleasure.
No, I’m not going to apply back into the university where I am currently working. I know I get the fee waiver and it means an inexpensive degree, but it also means face-to-face classes (which are a bitch on our schedule) and it means an additional 1-2 years.
And then there is the value of the ISM, both on campus in my current (and hopefully permanent) department, as well as off campus. Nothing is a sure thing, so having a degree that has value on a broader scale is a good thing. Really, I just want to stay planted where I am and get out of the “noob” misery I’m in. I will make a good living there, doing something that helps people yet satisfies my logic and analytical side. Mostly, I think I’m hedging my bets.
I guess that’s all I can say about it really. The debt is hideous. But that train came and went. So whining about it does no good. What does help is having a plan and a backup plan or two.
In a moment (or several) of irony, I would never counsel a student to follow in my shoes. This likely falls in the almost parental “do as I say, not as I do” category. At least I fully understand the ramifications of my situation.
I am wiped out and it is time to get the kids into bed. Tomorrow is another busy day, both at work and at home. By the time I get to Friday evening, I will probably fall on the floor and fade into a pile of dust. Or maybe not, since getting this project accomplished means a happier living space for us.
signing off before I keel over on the keyboard… moonfire