Well here I go, the last blog for 2009. Glad to see the year go and have much hope for the new one. Came into this year with hope and some plans for trying new things. I gave it a shot. Mostly I fell flat on my face, but I learned quite a bit along the way.
Here is where it would be appropriate to list out a bunch of things that I felt like I gained (or lost) from this past year, but in the spirit of letting go and starting fresh for the new year, I won’t.
I’m also forgoing the concept of resolutions.
I’m hopeful that I’ll be a better mom, a better employee, a better wife, and a better friend for this new year. But that’s all I’ve got right now – some hope. Any sense of drive or purpose I had going is a bit deflated right now. The best I can drum up is a bit of lightly optimistic hope. I’m trying to boot pessimism to the curb, but even that’s a bit iffy. If I seem slightly ambivalent going into this next year, that’d be correct. The last couple of years have been rough, colored by loss and gain, failure and a little bit of learning. For every step forward we attempt, it seems like we take three or four back.
So forgive me if this isn’t me being wound up and full of cheerfulness about the coming year. For the first time in a long, long while, I’m simply glad to say goodbye to one year and hello to what might be a fresh start.
We stayed home tonight – glad to be safe and not driving about on icy roads. I felt no urge to be out, dressed up and in a crowd. The thought of crowds makes me absolutely cringe these days, so I can’t think of anything that would be closer to hell than that.
Instead, we were home with the kids. Aidan didn’t get a nap today, so he was a total pill. There was one point where I thought he was going to be in time out for the next week. And you know what? I’d still rather be home with our family than out with strangers.
Right now I’d rather be with my family for the big events… anniversaries, birthdays, big celebrations and milestones. Given that it can all be gone in a flash, it seems to make sense. Be with the ones that mean the most to you and skip the stupid crap.
It did occur to me to enjoy this evening because down the road the boys will be heading off to parties on their own. So I’d better enjoy it now, while I can.
They’re in bed now and I’m heading off to sleep myself. Todd will probably be up for a while, toasting in the calendar change in the quiet of the house (except maybe for the rumble of the dryer).
So goodbye 2009. Thanks for only staying a year. I’ll try to develop a more positive perspective on you down the road. For now, I’m just glad your visit is done.
cheers on this cold New Year’s Eve…