Since I’m a little down about having to apply for a job that I know I don’t want but I need, I’m going to write out things to look forward to:
(this one is dedicated to Kellie B.)
1. Walking outside on a windy day, with the leaves swirling around me. If I listen closely, I’m sure I can hear Vivaldi’s Four Seasons playing as my soundtrack.
2. Eating Halloween candy and then checking my teeth in the mirror because they feel like they’ll fall out. It will occur to me that I never worried about this when I was a kid and I’ll remember Halloweens past, with all the fun it entailed.
3. The first snowfall, when everything is covered and all the dirty world is made clean. It’ll be cold and white and wonderful.
4. The sound of a little kid belly-laughing.
5. The smell of laundry fresh out of the dryer – warm, soft, and smelling like comfort.
6. Something hot and spicy to drink during the holiday season. This one is even better if it’s with a small group of friends.
7. That moment, after a really long, frustrating day, when you get into bed, stretch out your toes, and let your head sink into your pillow. Or maybe it’s the moment just after that, as sleep comes on and you feel the memories of the day drift away.
8. Getting a hug from someone that you know truly loves and cares for you. If you’re alone, then it’s taking a moment to give yourself a hug… and I’m sorry Frasier, but hugs ARE really valuable.
9. Hearing or reading a story about someone overcoming great odds or trauma. Or hearing about someone who helps another person for no reason other than humanity.
10. Fresh-baked cookies.
11. Looking up at the stars, feeling small, then realizing we’re all here on this spinning rock together… so maybe we’re not as alone as we think.
12. November 5th… no matter what the results are.
13. Watching something inanely silly that makes you laugh until you snort. Then trying to cover up the fact that you snorted, but nobody really minds anyway.
14. Making something – a mess, a dress, a blog posting, anything that trips your personal trigger. Then sharing it with someone.
15. Hearing a true “thank you.”
16. Helping someone who needs it and not expecting anything done in return.
17. Being the object of good-natured humor.
18. Realizing that you’re a good person and your mistakes don’t define you.
19. Being old and looking beautiful in bright colors.
20. Seeing green buds in the spring and red leaves in the fall.
There’s more, of course. I’d add reading a book that makes me sad when I’m done, hearing my baby tell me he loves me and giving my boys kisses, laughing at my husband when he does something silly and trying to “make” him cuddle me… The smell of homemade bread…. laugh lines and gray hairs that mean I’ve lived… family… friends…. mojitos… hot rum toddies… chocolate cupcakes…. yorkshire pudding… (yes, there’s a theme here)
I am also looking forward to the day I regain control of my weight and starting swimming and walking for fun.
I look forward to the day that I’m ok if I don’t finish my degree, but do it because I can.
I look forward to picking on my teenage sons and telling them things like, “You kept me up when you were a baby, so you deserve this!” I look forward to watching them experience life, even if I don’t look forward to the times when it will be hard or painful.
I look forward to my friendship with my mother lasting forever.
I’m going to be a grown-up now, but I DO have things to look forward to. I may want to be weepy and sad about a few things, but there is even more to smile about.
I send this off now with a big thanks to Helen, Joanie, Kellie, Rachel, Todd, Andre, my mum, Dan and Geraldine, and my boys. And I’d add a “I’m thinking of you” to Steph, Michele, Kerri, and Marcus.
Life is good and we are all blessed.