All Things End

Our project to build in Whatcom county has come to an end. We fought hard to make it happen, but it’s just not meant to be. And I just gave notice that Youngest and I will be out of our current rental by the end of November.

I have a lot of work to do to get this all done and I can’t afford to dilly dally.

Instead we are going to “circle the wagons” and I’m going to pack money into savings, at least I will once I pay for the move and all the repairs to both here and my mum’s place so we can live there in a reasonable manner.

I tried. I really did. Hours of phone calls, emails, planning and working on the solutions to each and every road block that came up. In the end? Well, it was more than I could make happen on my own.

What I did learn out of all of this is that I can’t depend upon other folks. I have to stand on my own two feet, which might seem funny to write when I’m actually moving in with my mum. The rental situation – both here and in Washington – is insane. If I want any chance to break free, I need to do this for at least the next 6 months to a year. If it’s miserable and Spicy Ginger does finally get his home built, then Youngest and I can look at moving in with him, but I’m not holding my breath.

Things haven’t been the same since May of this year and it’s felt like a gradual decline in both spirit and energy. I think the pressures of the world have torn us down.

All I know is that I can work on making things nicer at my mum’s house and perhaps improve her living conditions. It’s going to be chaos. It’s going to take a lot of effort and I had the very grown-up conversation with Youngest about how it’s going to take the two of us to try to keep the family doing ok.

So one chapter ends and we turn back full circle to home.

Wish us luck. We’ll need it.

Moonfire

From Limbo to Hell

Everything is just falling apart. Can’t do the construction loan without the permits and can’t do the permits without the lot being in our name. Landlord says no, he doesn’t have an offer yet and they aren’t even listed, but that’s not the conversation Spicy Ginger says he heard. Of course, he’s looking more notorious for not really listening to what he’s being told.

Frustrated with Spicy Ginger – I asked him if he has checked his email to find out if he has heard from the bank on his financing and he has every excuse known to man about why he hasn’t checked yet.

Can’t seem to get the financing on the lot loan and nobody wants to take action. I can’t do anything on my own, so I’m stalled out and it’s looking like the whole thing has bit the dust. I’m tired of the stress. I’m tired of the apathy and fear from everyone around me.

I looked at options that I could do on my own and the only remotely viable ones would mean I couldn’t keep all my kitties (only 3, but the limit in the mobile home parks are 2).

I’m ready to wave the white flag. Read an article today the people who rent have negative health outcomes worse that unemployment and smoking. I actually get that because my nervous system is in overload and I can’t rest.

I’m to the point where I just want someone to help me find a tiny property and I’ll build my own damned tiny home and hunker down. Fuck this whole situation. I want out. It’s a mess and it doesn’t look like I can get any traction. I did all this work – phone calls, questions, creative solutions and at every turn I’m blocked. I want to cry, but don’t have the energy. And to be clear, it’s frustration.

I don’t trust landlord at all. I think he’s a weasel. He’s self-serving and will say whatever he has to so he doesn’t look like the bad guy. Spicy Ginger is avoidant and honestly, I’d be willing to bet that his house will still not be built in 6 months. That’s completely on him and I can’t take this sense of his lack of motivation. I really don’t think he wants to leave here. I’ve thought that for a long time and nothing I’ve seen so far changes that opinion.

I think I’m going to talk to my agent and see if she’s comfortable looking in other parts of the state. If she’s not, then I’m going to reach out to someone who is a land specialist in the less expensive areas. Then I’ll contact the bank with the affordable construction loans and talk to them. I think I’ll go so far as to do the application with them and fuck this whole situation to hell.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how sometimes we have to move forward on our own and take our fate into our own hands. I would rather build my own tiny home with my own stupid hands than continue in this mess. Yes, I’m angry right now but it’s more complicated than just anger. It’s a whole range of emotions that are taking over my world. I’ve tried breathing through it. I’ve tried endless patience and prodding.

In the end I’d rather just stand on my own and move forward because this sense of being trapped is getting worse by the day.

Moonfire

Limbo and Uncertainty

All information on this rental situation is coming to me via Spicy Ginger and his ability to process details is sometimes… erratic. This means I’m depending upon him to take action and he seems to be all over the place. It’s leaving me with this heightened sense of anxiety because I have no real input on things as they stand.

This morning I got that massive flash of anger I get when I’m left hanging. Our landlord is notoriously unreliable and goes back on what he says. Spicy Ginger is trusting him, once again, and I can’t take it. And maybe this all goes back to my childhood and the various events that left me feeling unsafe. I feel unsafe right now. I can’t depend upon anyone except myself and my mum.

I’m ready to contact the appartment complex where we lived before I moved in here and see if they have a 2 bedroom place open next month. At least there I knew we were securely housed. I just can’t live in limbo like this. If I don’t know more by the end of the month, I’m contacting them. It means living in an anxiety state for the next few weeks, but I have to draw the line somewhere.

Fuck this situation anyway.

Moonfire

Rental Hell

Our landlord did what he PROMISED Spicy Ginger he wouldn’t.

He sold our property (three duplexes on a fair sized chunk of land). Our rents will be going up to $1800 per month, but we don’t know when yet. The deal isn’t finished closing. Apparently he got $4M for the place and all of the tenants here, every single one of us, got fucked.

I was just talking to Spicy Ginger about it and said that I wanted to look into how much notice the new owner will need to give us and he said that as renters we don’t have any rights and the new owners don’t have to give us notice, they can just do it. I’m not sure I completely believe that, but it wouldn’t surprise me as we live in a red state and it’s all about the mighty dollar here.

What this has made me realize is there is no freaking way I could ever do an investment property and rent it out. I’m not cut out to be an asshole like that and clearly it’s all about profit, with no regard for the lives impacted by high cost housing.

Mum said she hopes our landlord develops lice in his crotch. Then she said, oops, we’re not supposed to wish for that or it’ll come back on us. So we laughed a ton.

I haven’t had much sleep. I’m wiped out right now and I’m mad as hell. I knew this was coming. I even looked online yesterday, because my gut was telling me he had these places listed. From what I know about what happened, they didn’t even get listed. These are in a prime location and there is room to add units to the property. Everything that made this place special is about to be gone. I’m so glad our chickens have already found a new home, because this would have been absolutely heartbreaking in a completely different way if things hadn’t happened as they did.

I just reworked my budget and I could just barely squeak by at the new rate, but I’d have no ability to save or to take care of emergencies. I would be completely crushed by a huge rental payment. Spicy Ginger cannot, under any circumstances, afford the new rent. Period. So I’ve proposed that I put all of my stuff into storage and he and I and Youngest, plus all our cats, share his place. We split the costs and hang on until his house is built. It would mean Youngest sleeping on his couch for however long, which freaking sucks.

So let me say this to every asshole landlord, financial advisor (who insists that renting is smarter than owning), and all the economists looking at the “macro picture” – FUCK YOU ALL. This is about housing – which is NOT optional.

And most especially to our landlord: I hope that karma treats you justly.

Signing off – one super mad Moonfire

Off To The Races!

Well, here we go. Mortgage broker is setting us up with a MUCH better option – and ironically, it’s the one I wanted us to do originally. So I’m thrilled about that piece. He’s sending me the questions that need to be answered and I’ll get those back to him asap.

Next – our lovely real estate agent is calling me at 3pm (2pm her time) to go over the details of our offer. I have to find out how we get her the earnest money. I’m going to have to limit it to 1% of the purchase price, but that’s life. Given the situation with buyers right now, I don’t think the sellers are going to balk… but you never know.

Also, have to snail mail the deposit to the designer and that is seriously the EASIEST part of this whole business. I’ve already told her how small the house will be. I’m excited to see the design I’ve been building and drawing come to life with a real designer.

It’s going to be small but efficient. There just won’t be room for wasted space. Mum’s space will be made absolutely beautiful, while the kids and I will have the barest bones we can get by with and have it appraise properly. I think we’ll be doing sweat-equity on it, which suits me just fine. I’m going to do my best with the kitchen based on what our limited budget will be. Luckily, we’ve already got my washer and dryer, so we don’t need to worry about those on the appliances list. I’ll talk to our builder about what I can do on my end to help with materials – ie, I’d really like it if we could find some things that could be reclaimed.

There’s only one other thing I want to have on the back-burner, in case it’s possible and that’s doing a cement pad for foundation for a shop when we do the house foundation. I’ll save up so I can pay for that separately, but I really want it in place if at all possible. My reasoning? We’re on a true shoe-string budget, so if I can hunt down second hand furniture, etc., and refinish/recover it, I can prevent us from needing to spend on other things to ensure that the common area is furnished. I don’t want to have chemicals close to the house if I’m doing things like that. Mum and Youngest have too many breathing problems for that to happen. Even if it’s just a car-port cover over a pad, I could work in it. Hell, I’ll make a protective tent out of tarps! LOL

That’s all completely secondary, though. I’ve been researching how to make this build as low-cost as possible. The things that must be sturdy and good quality, will be.

As for the design? Four square corners, boxes within boxes. Simple roofline. Hard surface flooring throughout. I really wish we could do polished concrete as it can be stained to be absolutely gorgeous, but I think we’ll be doing LVP. The splurge for mum? heated floors in her suite. I’m torn between wanting to surprise her with what I’ve got planned or wanting to tell her. She’ll have an age-in-place walk-in shower, with bars and a fold down seat. I know the kind of toilet she likes and I know her favorite color. I’ve been pinning like freaking crazy on ideas to make her space amazing (but stay within our budget).

The kitchen has to be good, too, as I know she’ll be in and out of it. It has to have accessible spacing that will allow for walker and wheelchair. Easy in and out to outdoors, as I’m not letting her stay cooped up inside all the time.

Common areas will all be open, anyway. Kitchen and living room will all be great room style. And I want doors that can open out on to the covered patio. She has this thing about bugs, so I’ll find a way to have screening that can drop down. Not sure we could afford the automated kind, so I’ll have to make something or figure out how to fit it in the budget.

The thing of it is this… I know her wishlist and I know what she would prefer on a lot of things. I can pull this off. Yeah the budget is crazy small, but in some ways that makes it better. It’s a puzzle to be solved and I love that.

I’m really grateful that I’ve been studying tiny homes for the last four years. A lot of what I’m going to incorporate into this design pulls from things I’ve learned about them. I’m also incredibly stubborn and determined. I can make this happen.

Time to wolf down some food and get this work done.

Moonfire

Looking At Options

Mum and I are looking at ways to decrease our risk on this whole plan. We had a good talk today and I’m hoping that it leads to a more solid plan. I’ve got a mortgage broker who is helping us now and he’s looking at more cost-effective ways to get to our end goal. I’m watching “our” lot while we’re working on this back-end stuff and just hoping it doesn’t disappear on us. Interesting that it’s the high rates that may make it possible for us to hold on until everything is settled and not lose the lot.

To be clear – I gave her ample opportunity to back out and just stay put. I do NOT want her to feel pressure on this. I’ve learned that there are other options, if needed. Sadly, buying existing construction isn’t one of them.

What I do know is I have to do everything – and I mean EVERYTHING – I can to keep our build costs down and tight on the budget. 1200 square feet. Entry-level materials. Kids and I do sweat-equity where possible. Make mum’s space the best we can. Make the kitchen ultra functional.

Now on to being sick. It sucks. I’m really tired of it and ready to move on to breathing without this stupid cough.

I’m also really tired. I think work, home, and adventures in planning have worn me down. Or it’s just this stupid virus making me feel completely dragged out.

That’s it. My energy is gone. I don’t even have the brainpower to write more.

Moonfire

We’re All Sick

Spicy Ginger is sick. I’m sick. Mum is sick.

I’m trying to focus, so I can get things done, and instead my brain is sore and my eyes are dry.

What’s even worse? Sitting here, knowing I can’t do anything until we have the $2,000 for the earnest money to get the paperwork done for our lot. I wish I could do all of this myself. I wish I could just move forward and take care of things and then coordinate the packing, cleaning, and property prep on Mum’s house so that all was just taken care of.

Instead, we’re all sick and I can’t do a thing.

Now, I’m philosophical about the lot. If someone else buys it, then I’ll just go back to looking and keep on trying. I’m not going to give up because something doesn’t go right. It’s just that I can only do so much and it feels like it’s piss-all.

Each step comes with a series of other steps that take time, so I’m trying to juggle everything to keep it moving but I only have so much power.

I’ve been tempted to ask my credit union if I can just borrow a bit from them so I can move this all along.

But I won’t. It’s unwise and I just need to hold tight.

I’m taking my high dose of vit D and drinking fluids and working, as much as my foggy head will allow. I’m not getting down about how hard the process is. I know it’s work and it takes endless attempts to make things work.

OK. Enough wimping. I’m tired. Time to get back to work.

Moonfire