Each year I do celebrate the exiting of the old one with a huge sigh of relief, but this year I feel it even more.
We lost Marcus. Our family has struggled to find footing in the middle of our own economic battles. My kids see less of me than ever.
It feels like every step taken forward resulted in two or three back. Still, there were some small and not-so-small blessings that I’ve decided to count…
The little rental house we’re living in feels more like home than anything has since the house we owned went up for sale. This place may be falling apart and held together by a few rusty prayers, yet the beat up walls and strange layout suit us just fine. I like being here in the peace and quiet. I love our neighbors. Our boys will have good memories here and so will Todd and I.
I finally promoted. After 22 years in the work force, I finally promoted to a professional-level position that makes me stretch and think. I wish it had happened before the kids, so perhaps I could have enjoyed the feeling of working hard and being appreciated for my quick mind. If all goes well, I’ll make the most of this opportunity and then, when the time is finally right, I will be able to finally achieve the goal I’ve had since I was a small fry myself.
Todd is returning to the university where I work and we’ll be able to use the fee waiver to get him through his degree. This brings me an incredible sense of relief – a feeling that maybe things won’t be so bad. And his financial aid will help us out once again, alleviating some of the overwhelming pressure I’ve been under for the last year. We still have to work on his exit strategy where his low paying part-time job is concerned, since he needs to finish up his degree in a reasonable amount of time… My sanity depends upon this.
The boys have been healthy since the summer. We’ve had minor illnesses come through, but nothing like we faced in July and nothing like we had the last couple of years. Todd and I seem to be hanging in there too, so I’m sending out many wishes for the new year that this will continue.
I’ve got a wonderful family – both by blood and by marriage. I have friends that I treasure, even though I see them infrequently and I’m not the most social creature in the world. In this life, relationships are what matter most. Everything else is just the “noise” that surrounds us.
Maybe this is brief and much less than I intended to write, but I feel like it’s enough. I don’t have more rants to share for 2010. I don’t have wimps and moans. I survived this year. Now let’s see what the new one brings.
cheers and have a safe New Year’s Eve,