Twinkle Lights and Some Quiet

The boys are in bed.  The twinkle lights are on, tiny glows in our little haven.  The house has finally calmed down and it’s time for bed.  I got some of what I wanted to accomplish squared away.  Some, I didn’t.  That’s life.  I’m going to read for a little while, then it’s snooze time.  I wish the weekend had lasted just a little longer, but then again, I’d probably have seen that time go by too quickly as well.

Monday is coming, with busy-ness and work and school and the weekday rush.  I think I’ll go crawl under the covers, read until my eyes are drowsy, then drift off…

Cheers on this Sunday evening.  Peace to you and yours…

moonfire

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Sunday thoughts

I’m preparing to back up my laptop and install Vista Ultimate.  Todd and the boys are outside, enjoying the new space.  I’m a bit jealous that they have the freedom to do it but I know it’s not forever.  Two more weeks of work and I’m done!  Well… I’ll be done for a three week period and then it’s back to the grind, but at least I’ll only be doing ONE class then.

The house is a disaster.  It’s painful to look at.  We got one space under control, but the other is ridiculous.  I can’t give in to the urge to deal with it though.  I have to get on the ball with my classes.

I also need to go soak my sore, tired body.  Our gardening adventure has left me with bug bites, sore muscles and a complaining back.  It feels good.  (yeah, I know.  Weird)

Aidan’s in now and he’s acting tired.  It’s 11am.  I wonder if he’ll take a nap.  He looks like he needs one, but trying to get that to intersect with him actually going down?  It’s not always successful.

I give up.  My brain is being pulled in several different directions and I simply can’t focus.  Time to back up the computer and get through the installation process.  It’s either painful now or it’s painful later.  No choices.

cheers on a overcast but still hot Sunday,
moonfire

Haven

We worked on a garden tonight.  This is a miracle because Todd & I are NOT gardeners.  Bren was digging holes too.  We have a new trellis with honeysuckle and clematis.  We have some creepers and some African Daisies.  It looks pretty, although it’ll look better in a month or two, when things start growing in.

We also got an inexpensive gazebo canopy thing (10×10) to cover the patio.  This will cool down the living room since it heats up every morning with the sun coming in.

So we went from a hot, dry, unwelcoming space to a space where, even in the 90 degree weather today, it’s a nice place to hang out.  We’re going to hunt down the Christmas twinkle lights and put those up too.  Pretty AND functional.  I like it.

Time for some Lost before we all get showered and go to bed.  Tired….  Got the first 1/2 of my final project done for Managerial Accounting.  Now tomorrow is cleared for AIS.  Yay!!!

Cheers for tonight.

moonfire

got it back

Weird.  This format must have been edited.  Well, blog roll is back.  Phwew.

Now I can resume my previously scheduled activities and stop hyperventilating.  Boy.  Leave a blog to flounder for a bit and look what happens!

oy.

Saturday morning with my guys

I’ve been up for a couple hours and already we’ve had toddler drama, 6-year old smiles and a groggy daddy drag himself out of bed.  I’ve done some laundry… read some of my AIS text….  eaten a few crackers and read an interesting blog.  I have final projects to work on, sadly, and I think we’re going to trundle off to Elmer’s for some family breakfast and laughter.

I am stopping and taking a moment to assess… Yes, life is good.  It’s funny, but sometimes it’s good to stop and just acknowledge it.  We had a “status update” meeting at work yesterday and I felt the same sort of satisfaction about where I am there as I feel at home.  It’s a sweet, yet mixed feeling.  There is never enough time, is there?  I am finding enjoyment at work that will only increase as my knowledge base increases.  At the same time, I’m excited to see the backside of these two classes (well… actually, only managerial.  I wish I had more time to spend with AIS) – I want to spend at least ONE weekend with my family, not thinking about school or work or external things.  I want to just BE with them.

We’re listening to some great music from the late 80’s – music that friends we know had made wayyyy back when.  It’s touching a nostalgic nerve.  I feel connection to who I was back then and a little peace.  We are so different.  We’re not static, are we?  I was emotionally fragile then.  I had big dreams and deep desires.  I lived intensely.  I loved people and had them let me down.  I had people that loved me and I let them down.  I fought against so many things.  I wanted to impact the world.  I wanted to be an active force of change, but often I felt powerless.

Now?  I am accepting, so much more than I was then.  My dreams are more grounded in the simple, almost mundane.  Small things make me happy, like a Saturday morning with my family… and perhaps that’s not so small, to a person with few days left on the planet – it’s all about context.  I have thicker skin where my emotions are concerned.  I worry less about things that are (to quote an accounting concept) non-material.  I fight less and bend more.  I still love deeply, but now I focus it to those who matter most and I understand that there are limits on what you can give of yourself emotionally.

I know I’ve said it before, but it’s a good time to say it again:  I am happy with aging.  Yes, the body isn’t  living up to what the brain would like to be able to do, but I can live with that.  It appears, at least for me, that the trade-off for peace is my physical condition.  And no, I don’t see this as permanent.  I can get myself together and regain some of it, but I still think it’s a good deal.  I like where I am in life right now.

Aidan is roaming around, intermittently snacking on crackers and drinking his juice.  He’s a bit testy this morning and very impatient.  Bren has his computer going and he’s watching Youtube videos about Legos….  I’d like to get them in for haircuts today and I suppose this means I need to stop writing (yes, I took a moment off from the study thing to do this…  no regrets).  Todd has the dishwasher going and I’m fairly certain that the super-sized laundry machines have stopped their loads.  Time to do the laundry shift, close this down and get showered so we can take care of a few family chores this morning.

One little extra thought – something happened at work yesterday that took a huge chunk of the school load off my shoulders.  I’m going to get Vista Ultimate installed on my laptop, then I’ll load up our software system from my company.  I am THRILLED!  I can do my final project on the software, simultaneously increasing my learning in it AND getting my project done.  Plus, I’ll be able to do at-home practice in the system…. helping me with my job.  I also get to experience doing a self-installation, so I’ll understand it from the customer’s viewpoint.  Good stuff.  Sounds weird, doesn’t it?  Then again, if you’d told me a year ago that I’d end up working in tech support for accounting software, I would have thought you were insane.  Life has a tendency to throw some seriously weird stuff at you.

The thing is… It is good.  Get new information?  Make a new decision.

Ok.  I want to spend time with my guys before I dig into my homework.  Cheers to all on this hot Saturday.  May your day be a good one….

moonfire

Lost in space….

I need to work on a mastery module, but I just want to go to bed.  I’m trying to persuade myself to buck up and get it done…. but my body keeps trying to persuade me that being horizontal would be better.  Hard to argue with your body.  It has tricky ways of persuading you that it’s right.

Had a nice dinner with my family tonight.  Todd and I were both a bit on the fried side, so it was relatively quiet.  I guess when you have a busy day, things tend to be mellow at night.

I’d write more, but it’d just be more of the same.  Learning is hard.  Burning the candle at both ends like this is even harder.  Only three more weeks and then I can call it done.  I waiver between it feeling like forever and feeling like it’s not enough time to get all the final projects done.  Somehow, in the midst of all this, I have to learn an accounting software system.  No.  I’m not kidding.  And no, it’s not for work.  It’s for a project.  A final project.

Well.  I can procrastinate or I can pull myself together and get this done.

sigh.

Being a grownup sucks sometimes.

moonfire.