A week ago Sunday, the 21st I think it was, Mum and I had the serious talk that this place is too small and in need of too much repair. I did a search on Redfin for 5 bed/2 bath under $500K and one house came up. We contacted Redfin to arrange to see it, connected and got in to tour at 3:30pm on that following Tuesday, the 23rd. It was Mum, Youngest, and me touring it and it was just what we needed.
We couldn’t offer until we got things figured out on how we’d sell mum’s existing home and how much of those proceeds could go to downpayment on new home. Our buyer’s agent and her partner, the selling agent, toured existing home on Friday afternoon, just after mum had been notified that her dear little kitty was riddled with cancer and a horrible decision had to be made.
We finished the meeting with the agents and drove across town to the cat doctor and we loved on mum’s sweet little kitty and said goodbye. It was so painful to let her go, but it was the only loving thing to be done. She was just the sweetest old girl and my mum loved her so much. I had been looking forward to her and my giant kitty bonding, as they were both mellow kitties who just wanted yummies and loves. I’ll tell the rest of the story but I want anyone reading this to know that the other events around that time shouldn’t diminish the love or heartbreak mum was going through… that I was and am going through.
That evening we were hunkered down in mum’s living room, exhausted and sad, when the message came in that the investor our seller’s agent knew was wanting to see the existing house at 10am the next morning. Mum and I didn’t sleep much on Friday night – too much crying and awake time – so we did our normal Saturday breakfast really early and got back so I could meet with the agent and investor at her home.
The investor has a gentle aura, but also confident and he asked just the right questions about the home we call the “old girl”. I took BFF of Oldest to the open house to see the new house we wanted to buy and as we were just finishing up there, we got the offer on mum’s house. It was more than she was hoping for and enough to get new house, give my sis funds towards her purchase of a home when timing is right, and extra for moving costs and savings.
We asked for one change on terms, he accepted, and we’re off to the races on existing home.
In meantime, we worked with our buyer’s agent and got offer submitted on new house. Got the counter offer, accepted it, and we’re under contract on new home.
All happened Sunday to Sunday in a one week period.
Now mum is sad about leaving the home she has had for 35 years, but she knows that age and family necessitate this move and new home is a true HOME. The family that has lived there has done a lovely job on it. It feels like home to us and it meets our needs so well, plus it comes with chickens!!
This is, of course, just the quickest, barest way to sum up what we are going through. There are a zillion small and large details we’re addressing, not the least of which is the very rapid time table on the close on the sale of mum’s home and then the close a couple weeks later on the new house. As part of the terms of our sale here, we’ll be living here rent-free for 3 weeks after close. Selling family at new home is also dealing with home sale and purchase, plus they have a baby on the way and four kids, so timing is tough for them too. We’re all working together, via our agents, to make this happen.
I like the selling family already. They are also doing multigenerational in new living space and I love that. I know it’s a transaction, but they are leaving us a home that is just beautiful for our three generations and I am so grateful for that. I hope many blessings follow them to their new home.
It is going to be a hard, fast move and there are many emotions tied to this house for my mum, so I will be as gentle as possible with her. We will be packing and using professional movers to get us out of here in the narrow window between when we take possession of new home and are at the end of the three weeks to vacate here.
Everyone of us involved in this process is going to act with kindness, grace, and respect for the others involved.
Mum said she felt like it was a luxury and privilege for us to get a new house with 5 bedrooms and I told her that truly, it’s not because we’re moving three separate households into one home. Conservatively rent for our three households, which demographically is a cross section of renters: single mom with a kiddo, two 20-somethings starting out, and one retiree – conservatively rent for three places that could accomodate us here in our city would be $4500 per month for three separate units (estimating $1500 each). We’re going to be together with a mortgage of $2100 per month. Yes, it’s privilege that this is even an option for us, but it’s not luxury (new home was built in 1979 and is by no means luxury). It’s necessity.
This is the new norm and I believe we’ll see more and more multi-gen and combined family households because of the way rents are.
But multi-gen is also good for all of us… good for the health of the elder and the youngers and good for me, the sandwich gen in this picture. I’ll be able to take care of all of us, even if I’m not doing every bit of the care, but facilitating all of us caring for each other. It will be work but it will also continue the joy we are finding in moments shared together.
And maybe I’ll be able to start getting some sleep because damn, I sure need it.
This is just the tip of the iceberg in what is going to be a very busy and fast time, but we’re together and that’s what matters. Wish us luck. I know we’ll need luck, work, and a whole bunch of help to get through this brief but crazy time.
Moonfire
Ramblings of a Wild for Words Woman 