stupid cough

Kids gave me a nasty cough.  I sound like a harbor seal.  This is not fun.

Anyway.  I got the hiring paperwork done today.  Then I wandered over to see my friends at the college where I used to work.  I figured I didn’t want to debit card 0.50 so I’d take the time to visit.  It was really nice.  It turns out my old boss (the one I really like) is working on a research project with one of my new bosses.  I know both of my references from that old department – my old boss and another of my old faculty – gave me glowing references, so I wonder how much that had a say in what happened.

It’s a really nice thought, actually.

Even if it was just my charming self (ha) that did the job in the interview, it’s a nice thing to think.

So.  I refuse to buy a campus parking permit.  They’ll charge me for the entire academic year, even though I’m starting midway.  They’ll charge me the missed portion and do payroll deduct for the other part.  I really dislike that whole notion, so I’m going to ride a bike back and forth.  If weather or circumstances dictate otherwise, I’ll get Todd to drop me off… but that’ll be the exception rather than the rule.

It means I’ll need to hunt down a good cold weather coat and I’ll need a bike helmet, but it’s worth it.  I’ll be carting my backpack anyway and I can pack things to freshen up when I get there.  Based on timing, worst case it’ll take me 20 minutes to get there… possibly as low as 15 and there are bike paths for the busy streets.  We’ll hunt down a good lock and flasher lights so I’m nice and visible.

It seems appropriate, given that I’ll be working for an energy policy group.  Todd and I agree it’ll be better.  Less wear and tear on the vehicles.  He’ll be carting the kids, so he can drive the van and that’ll mean if I get into a sticky situation, he can pick me up and pack up the bike.

I’ve done bike commuting before and I really liked it, although I was in my 20’s.  It’ll be interesting to see how it works out when I’m in my 40’s!!  So long as I’m prepared, I think it’ll go fine.  I just need to be organized and ready to deal with surprises.

Well.  The cough is getting to me and I’m tired.  It has been a long day.  Mostly I’m just glad that I’m figuring a few things out and prepping for what is coming.  It’s easier to deal with change if you accept it and work with it, rather than against it.  I’m still nervous about the parts of this that are unknown.  At the same time, I have confidence in myself and my abilities – plus, I know the campus and how (most) things work.  There have been changes to processes, but it’s nothing that a little bit of training/orientation can help with.

I hope I can sleep tonight.  I have a lot to do this weekend and I don’t want to be tired.

cheers and a hack or two…
moonfire

slightly pathetic

Oh yeah.  This one blows my mind.   Even with the pay cut I’m taking to go to my new place I’ll be netting close to the same I’m making now – BUT with one huge difference:  much, much better insurance.  Here’s the comparison on the insurance:

Current – per person deductible is $3000, although it is $1000 if we take copies of the bills and submit them to third party servicer… which many people at my current company don’t know about…

Future (as of the first of Feb) – per person deductible is $250, with a total family max of $750 and a total ANNUAL out of pocket maximum of $3250.

My “future” insurance pays at an 85%/15% split and treats mental health care just like medical care, which means office visits are $20.

Beyond this however, is the premium comparison…  Medical/Dental/Vision at my current company is just under $400 per month.  Medical/Dental/Vision at my future place – right about $175.  I’ll be contributing to the fixed pension plan at about $125 per month – which means for the same $$ I’m getting all our medical/dental/vision benefits PLUS retirement that I don’t currently have.

This is not meant as a slam on my current employer, as I know they’re paying a ton for our employee coverage.  What it is, however, is a comment on a big “why” I’m going back to the university.  I have to provide insurance for my family.  Todd doesn’t even have the option through his company.  I have a pathology bill sitting on the desk, even as I write this, and it’s more than we can swing unless I get really creative.  It sure isn’t covered under my monthly budget because we simply don’t have the ability to cover that kind of expense.  I expect we’ll have these every 6 months or so with Todd’s skin situation.

It goes beyond the issue of the insurance though.  I realized, by paying close attention yesterday when I gave my more than three weeks notice – NOTHING was going to change income-wise.

So I assess where the decision and it is reinforced.  I’m a mom.  I take care of my family and they come first.  I plan to do an outstanding job for my new team and take good care of them.

No regrets.  I learned and I made some discoveries about myself (and the world of employment) along the way.  I’m never going to shake up the world… but I can take good care of my guys.

cheers,
moonfire

Success and bad mommy moment

I was offered the position and I accepted it this afternoon.  They fought for a higher starting salary for me, so I didn’t have to negotiate for one – something that really sets a wonderful tone for the start of this new (and latest) adventure.

No qualms.  No fretting that this is bad for me as a mom.  I chose to do this because I’m a mom and I have a great deal of peace with the decision.  Plus, school is going really well.  It will go even better with me NOT being a stress case.

Because of the work they did on my behalf, the financial impact will be less than I had been planning for.  It’ll mean a few dollars less each month and that’s it.  I could sell part of my book collection and make up for it.  Or… stop with the lattes… but not until the egg nog lattes retire for the year, ok?  Let’s consider it my Christmas present.

On the bad mommy moment – I spilled my son’s glass of water all over his homework sheets that he was supposed to work on tonight.  I feel totally rotten about it.  I apologized up one side and down the other.  He accepted very sweetly.  It didn’t hurt that essentially he’s off the hook tonight.  He’s been out sick the last two days and frankly, I don’t really think he should go back tomorrow.  I need him to rest so he won’t stay sick through the whole holiday season.  Ick.

Our short guy is happy with his new big-boy bed and I’m overcoming the trauma of selling the crib.  I don’t know that I’ll ever adjust fully to how quickly my boys are growing.  I’ll close my eyes and next thing I know they’ll be in college.

oh yeah.  Don’t even get me started about Aidan going to kindergarten.  Yes, it’s in over two years.  I know this.  But just thinking about it, even for a second, throws me into weepiness.

Time to close this down.  Bren is down with the crud and can’t go to scouts tonight.  This is bringing much sadness.  I’m recovering – Todd is recovering – Aidan is starting into it.

Yay us.

It’s not that bad.  It’s just tough getting our oldest to understand that being sick means limitations so he doesn’t share with everyone around us.

ok.  I’m done.

Cheers,
moonfire

7 years ago…

I was sick, exhausted and amazed.  Bren was finally with us.  Todd was completely down with a horrible respiratory bug and living on egg nog lattes from Starbucks in the hospital.  (Yes, Starbucks is truly a part of our son’s birthday)

Brennan was long, cranky, and he had an opinion that was expressed loudly and at length.  He’s actually quieter now!

It was incredible.  19 hours of labor.  At one point his heart rate dropped to 60 bpm and things got scary.  We thought we were headed for a c-section, but they put me on oxygen and things got better.  The epidural was the best thing I’ve ever had happen to me and by the time they gave it to me, I was ready to shove the needle in my own back.

There is nothing else I’ve done in my life (except marrying Todd) that even came close to as awesome as giving birth to both my boys.  After I delivered Bren, Todd told me I could do anything!

I look at my beautiful boy now and I can’t believe he was ever that tiny, angry little baby.  I remember lying in bed one morning, curled around his tiny, newborn body and thinking about how ephemeral that stage was and how I hoped I always remembered it.  I do.  I remember when my hand covered his whole back.  I remember his first bath.  I remember when he wouldn’t speak.  I remember when he got talcum powder ALL OVER HIS BEDROOM.  I remember me asking him (while he was in the tub) if he had a booger in his nose and him answering, “No, but I have a poop in my butt.” (and how quickly I got him out of the tub on on to the toilet!)

I remember his little voice, in the back of the minivan, yelling “we’re all gonna die!” while I was driving the speed limit (by the way).

I remember his hurt feelings when the big boys at the park didn’t want to play with him.

I remember how he wanted a sister like Maddy, but was ok with the fact he was getting a brother.

I remember fighting for him at school and failing him when I was too tired to be patient.

I wouldn’t trade a minute of the time I have been his mom and I am grateful that I have all of our lives to try to be the best mom possible for him.

Being me is sometimes a pain in the ass, but being his mom is the best.

Cheers to all on my son’s big day,
moonfire

folly

No reason for the title.  I just like that word.

I’m tired.  No.  That’s not a surprise.  But what the hell, I might as well note it for the record. Here’s something else:  Philosophy has Egg Nog Shampoo, Bath Gel & Bubble Bath (it’s all one, in one container… not three separate items).   It smells like Egg Nog with rum in it.  I have no room for splurges right now, but I got it.  My husband and children will stick like glue to me after I use it.  I might even catch Todd trying to lick my neck.

Now that you’ve been thoroughly grossed out by that image… let’s try something else.

I have to do a project in Microsoft Project over the next two days.  My motivation is lying on the floor, twitching and writhing in pain.

I am not kidding about this.

I’m also not willing to blow my grade in this class due to depressive apathy.

Yay me.

So… I think folly is a good word to use tonight.  And here’s to Egg Nog shower gel.  It’s the little things in life that help.
moonfire

…but this made my day

http://www.ktvb.com/news/regional/Unemployed-dad-wins-65M-Lotto-72752352.html

I liked this one.  Maybe fate can be cool after all…

WTH?

I got 100% on the first part of the project I submitted.  I didn’t deserve it.

I’m beginning to wonder if I am WAY too critical of myself.

Or, alternatively, this program is even LESS academically rigorous than I had previously thought.  It’s a toss up.

 

***

Tummy ache.  Up at 3am this morning.  Looking forward to being off the next 4 days so I can actually sleep.

I mean it.

***

Time for a shower and a bit of breakfast, even though my tummy doesn’t like that thought much.  I do get to have lunch with a friend I haven’t seen in a LONG time.  This is a great thing.

Tummy=bah.  Friend=yay.

That about sums it up.

moonfire

I wish I’d written this…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpog1_NFd2Q&feature=player_embedded

Watch it.  Trust me.

I wish my writing was at this level.  Hell, I wish that I’d stop finding excuses and write with this level of honesty.

I believe teachers have the ability to do amazing things for our children.  My son’s teacher is a fantastic, awe-inspiring person who challenges her students, even as she respects their vulnerabilities.

Not many can do what she does.

I’m going to sleep now.  Perhaps I’ll listen to this tomorrow and the next day, finding the inspiration I crave.  Because I need to write.  It’s a hunger for me.  My inner-critic sits there, nattering away at me, driving me to hide.  I’d like to slap that critic in the face, tell her it’s ok if it’s not perfect the first, the second, or even the tenth time.  All that matters, as I tell my son frequently, is trying – giving it your best, even in the face of your own need for that perfect thing that isn’t really possible.

Good night from moonfire

success…

Great party – super kids – tired grownups.

I think that says it all.

moonfire

Saturday morning with Queen

Todd’s playing various Queen songs on Youtube.  Man.  That was a damn fine band and Freddie Mercury was mind-bogglingly talented.

Pick a song by them and then do this… imagine years from now.  That song will still be played.  People will still be rocking out to it.

Isn’t that an amazing thing to consider?

And it is a wild thing to consider he’s been gone for 18 years now.  Todd played “Innuendo” which is supposed to be the last song Queen released.  It’s incredible too.

***

It just makes me think.  That’s all really.  And I’m enjoying listening.  It’s like no time has passed since the last time I heard their music.  Freddie still has my vote as greatest rock singer.

***

Time to shower and get the last of the party prep done.  I need to do laundry, clean house and get some reading done for my class.  The day will disappear in a flash of smiles, sugar, and noise.  Just the way a party day should go, don’t you think?

I’m working on a concept for a new blog with Bren.  I’ll still be here, emoting, etc., but this other one will be our joint perspective on the world… with Bren leading the way.  It may be limited at first, but if I can help him find his voice – his way of expression – then it’ll be worth it.  I want him to understand the power that words can have.  And I want him to know that writing is an art worth pursuing…  Actually, there are several arts I want to share with him, but let’s start with writing first.

and this brings me to my final thought before the busy day really takes off:  Art at the public schools here is strictly done with parent volunteers from the classroom teaching it.  No volunteer?  Then a class does not get art instruction.  How sad is this?  Most parents, myself and my husband included, have to work each day.  The implication is that if we cannot take time off (and we all know how bosses love giving time off), our children will not receive art instruction.

I understand… math, language arts, science, social studies, health… list your subject.  They all have to fit into the day, along with play time and lunch time.   Music, library, PE… these are limited to a specific day each week.

Where does Art fit in?

Without Art we lose…

… we lose on creativity

… we lose on expression

…color, line, dimension, form, function, shade

…appreciation for how materials can be shaped, reshaped, pressed together, taken apart

do we even realize how this relates to Engineering, Chemistry, Physics, Math, Writing, Reading, Communication?

***

As Freddie sings “Bohemian Rhapsody” in the background, I close this down.  Inspiration can be found all around us.  I hope I stop worrying about all the stress and open my eyes.  My children need me to return to that enthusiasm.

cheers from party central,
moonfire