I’m really struggling this morning. I didn’t want to get up before 5 to go to my workout. I got to it and the sharp cold, coupled with the air quality in the warning levels, all made me want to go home and go back to bed. I’ve been sporadically going to this workout class for a month and I’m seeing progress, so I don’t feel that I can give up, but this morning was one of those days when it was a true struggle.
By way of full disclosure, I should also note that I’m also going to start my period any time now… I’m over-tired from the weekend… and I’m sort of recovering from illness last week, although the bad air is making that a bit harder for me.
Truthfully, it’s really hard being the only earlybird in the household during the cold and dark months of the winter. If it were April, it would be balmy or at least not freeze-your-inhalation cold. And if it weren’t pre-period time, I would certainly be in a better place mood-wise. Dark, weepiness, cold – yeah, it’s all a great mixture.
I’m going to drink a cup of Meyer Lemon tea (herbal) and take a hot bath to ease my muscles. I’m going to find some positive self-talk to offset the unhappy thoughts that are pinging around in my head. If I start down this path, I will give up on the class and I can’t do that. I need to stick with this. I need to get my body into a healthy place. Perhaps distancing my emotions from it and looking on it like my academic class would help?
I don’t know. I just know that today was the first time where I actually questioned if I wanted to continue with the group. That scares me just a bit. It’s so easy to say to myself, “Oh, it’s too early and I’m too tired and i can’t do the things she’s insisting that I can do.” She’s just asking me to try. And can I say that I’ve come to hate the word “Burpee”. If you’ve never had to do them, look them up and see what you think. I have horrible upper body strength and just the word alone has started making me cranky.
But no. I won’t quit. And yes, I will learn to do the dreaded Burpees. I’ll hang in there and remember that this blue mood is temporary. It’ll pass, so that some new feeling can settle in for a bit. I like the workout group and I think I will benefit from sticking to it.
I can whine for a little bit this morning, then I’m going to soak in a bath that smells good, shake off the blues and great the gray, gloomy day with a smile. I’m thinking lemon tea and perhaps a bunch of flowers for my desk as I’m on my way into work.