My little guy lost one of his kitty friends to a car. I know he is sad about it, but he seems to be ok. Me? I feel really sad about the loss. I’m sad because this was one of the “baby kitties” that my small guy has spent the last few years being friends with. This particular kitty would come running when the boys were at my mother in law’s yard, enthusiastic for little boy pets and play time.
As the “baby kitties” got older, it aggravated Grampa Dan no end that Aidan still called them the baby kitties. It gave us giggles to see the aggravation and it also made me feel like childhood was lasting, even in the face of our being so busy with work and school.
It’s a hard day and not just because of this news. There is just something in the air that suggests to me that I should hunker down and hide, keep the boys inside and wait for the yucky feelings to pass. I’d even say that I was feeling just a little bit out of it, almost to the point of feeling too bluesy and sad to be around anyone except my family.
Maybe it’s the weather change. Maybe it’s that miid-semester dullness that comes when you’re not just freshly started and you’re not close enough to the end to know that you’ll be successful. I’m not even in school myself, yet I can feel that sensation… being in the middle of the storm, with the dead air.
I gave my little guy a hug tonight and told him I love him, just like I tell the boys each night before bed and each morning as I send them off on their days. It felt just a little less cheery tonight and I hope he’s doing ok about the loss. I hope he remembers the happy times he played with baby kitty and all the laughter and fun they shared.
I hope I have quiet dreams that bring me back to myself. I hope this odd mood lifts and I return to some kind of productive cheerfulness.