So very stressed.

My jaw hurts. My chest hurts. I’m exhausted (don’t say it, I know that’s my standard condition).

My honey has a countdown going for me. Four more days until I’m done. Tonight I have to remind myself, perhaps multiple times, that I can’t accomplish everything in just a few short days. This is the reality. I’ll do what I can. The rest is up to the department.

But it’s so hard. My classes are suffering. I’m disengaged because there is too much happening in my work life. I can’t have this happening, though. I can’t afford to blow these classes. And it’s week 3 out of the 7 weeks that are actual class time, then it’s time for finals and I’m done.

So Saturday is Bren’s next chess tournament. I’m going to use much of the time to study and work on my research project(s). Tomorrow is Friday and thankfully, I can get some reading done in the evening. Right now, I’m simply too tired.

I find that I don’t want to go to bed at night because I don’t want to go back to the office. Once I go to sleep, everything is on fast forward and I find myself there again. I’ve never been like this. I’m usually an early to bed person so I can get as much sleep as possible. It’s a distressing change from my usual.

I was obnoxious at work today – not intentionally. Tomorrow I will mellow out. I care about my co-workers, so being crummy is a very bad thing. I think I owe at least one of them coffee to apologize.

I’m going to learn as much as I can from Bren, my oldest. I think he sees the world in a mostly positive way. I’ll join him in that perspective!

****

I can hardly wait to join my new team. I’m ready, even if I am a bit nervous. I look around at the chaos in our home and I wonder what the impact of the reduced stress will do for us. Will I be less exhausted at the end of the day, or do I only know how to go full bore? Will I be excited for my family time, since school will soon (relative) be a thing of the past?

What WILL I do with the free time?

Time for bed. The pain in my jaw will subside. The tension headache will ease. I will snuggle under the blankets and curl into my pillow.

And the day will disappear.

moonfire

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