I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. For the next 8 business days I will be in a world of hell. Yes, I know this is not the way to look at it and the power of positive thinking, etc., etc. Still, I know what is coming, including having to do a Tuesday morning training that is making my teeth grind together in unwelcome anticipation. The regular stress is going to be compounded by the “Oh my god, I have to get this and this and this done” stress. Training the new guy… transitioning duties… wrapping up things for students that have been waiting.
The thought of it all both makes me want to stay up and prolong Sunday as long as possible, as well as hurry up and go to sleep so I can be through the insanity as quickly as possible. I’m tired and I haven’t even started into the week. I’m also dreading what this will do to me with my studies. Week 3 of classes started today. Scary, when I think that class really only goes through week 7, then it’s time for finals. Technically I’ve got 4 weeks of class left and I haven’t even really gotten into the material. I’ve determined my research topic for one class and I’ve made a bit of progress in my other, although I can’t say for sure since the directions for the course project are a bit iffy.
My one prof offered telephone calls to review the course project or discuss the material. I can honestly say there is no way I’ve got time to schedule the call during reasonable hours and even if I did, my hearing is so poor it’d be almost pointless.
I have to keep reminding myself that a B is sufficient to get through my degree. I’d prefer to do better than that, but I also have to be realistic at this point. The next 2-3 weeks of work will be a strain on my already strained personal energy resources. I simply have to endure it and get through, no matter what happens. If I’m lucky, the prof in my one iffy class will be generous. If I’m not lucky, then I’d better be spectacular on the final!
The time change is certainly a lucky break, though. I’m counting my blessings where that is concerned. My body was already attempting the shift on its own, so this does make things easier. I suppose I should head off to bed for some reading time and then a system shutdown for sleep.
I have to remind myself that it’s only a few more weeks and then both these classes are done, giving me winter break and relief from the pressure. I will TRY not to snap this next week. I will hang in there and remember that the end is just around the corner for first one, then the other stressor.
After that, it’s all relatively smooth sailing through the new job and the end of the degree. That’s the theory I’m going to use, at least until I get new inputs. What a long, long haul. I can’t fade now, not when the finish line is so damned close!
I don’t have anything positive to offer myself with respect to how the next 8 business days will go. It was hideous the week before my vacation. It will be hideous during the remainder of my tenure with the department. It’s not a reflection on the actual job itself, rather its a reflection on what really needs to be accomplished before I’m gone. Will I have to let some of it go? It’s likely. I’ll do my best and the rest will be up to those who remain.
Signing off for a bit of studying before sacking out,