one step back, two forward?

Still waiting on word about the lateral transfer within our department.  Joined the Biggest Loser competition in our office and so far I’m on track to losing at a consistent rate.

Then tonight I read my old blogs from 2009 and got depressed.  I’ve tried this a few times over the last couple of years (the weight loss, not the lateral transfer).

I’m torn about this.  I can’t give in to the pessimism, yet I feel worried that I’ll end up giving up.  Augh.  Positive visualization says to imagine my success and I’ll get there.  Now I’ve done this before and been successful.  Sadly, I had to be REALLY selfish during that 10 month time-period when I lost 48 lbs.  I can’t do that again.  Can I do something different?  I hope so.  My kids need me to be healthy.  My job needs it.  I need it.  I can’t live on Prilosec forever!

I’m not patient, am I?

Well that’s it.  Can’t think about this anymore.

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