Well, it’s a box forest, but it’s home

We got the keys a week ago Friday.  A week ago Saturday I woke up with goopy eyes and I knew it was bad news.  Bren was sick for a week before I got hit.  Aidan went down on Monday and Todd held out until Wednesday.  Bren is still recovering (and yes, it has been over 2 weeks).  Add to this mix moving a four-person household in temperatures over 100 and our van was trapped in the repair shop over the first moving weekend.

What was supposed to be a good event turned into hell.  I have no other description for it.  It got expensive, then more expensive and finally, today, I had to take a time out and cry about it all.  Once I did that, I got relatively philosophical about it all.  I missed almost a week of work (thankfully most of that was paid) – Todd missed about a week (unpaid).  We are STILL not done with our close-out cleaning at the old place and we can’t locate many things over here because it is box central.  On the balance against all of this misery is the fact that this is a better place for us.  The kids have their own spaces, which helps with the sleeping issue.  We have a safe back yard where they and the dog can play.  Our neighbors to the one side are wonderful.  Our cul de sac is blissfully quiet.

The medical bills drained us.  The move drained us of both money and health.  I am fretful about my status at work, even though I have many people there who understand how horribly sick I am and have been.

Maybe I’ll cry a bit more before the weekend is done, but then I’ll pull myself together and do what I’ve always done and that is take care of my family.

This is home.  It’s where we need to be, imperfections and all.  We have done our best for our former landlord, so I have no regrets about that.  I learned many lessons through this process.  Chief of these lessons is if a child gets sick, build him a bubble home and don’t get it.

Yeah.  I know.  Won’t happen.  It’s the joys of being a family.  At the very least, I’m thankful that Todd stayed relatively healthy for as long as he did.  If he had folded when I went down, I’d be a huddled mass on the floor right now.

I’m crossing my fingers that my boss understands what I have been through and how difficult the recovery is.  I hope she doesn’t give up on me.  As for school, I have been blessed with a great instructor.  For the first time in my program, I had to ask for an extension on two items that were due last Sunday.  There was no way I could do it and, frankly, I am still struggling to pull myself together.  Tomorrow morning we’ll finish up the cleaning at our old place and then we’ll retreat here, where I will catch up on reading and begin the second part of the class project.

I’d love to say that my emotional resilience has kicked in and I am triumphing over all of this, but I’m just not there yet.  I have this lingering sense of fear that more crap is headed our way.  We don’t have any more resources to deal with this.  So if I could put a thought out there into the ether, it would be this:  Please give us a break.  Please let us get healthy, don’t hit us with any more auto repair bills, and could you let us have some peace for maybe 6 months to a year??  Could you send a job Todd’s way that actually includes paid time off and a decent salary?  Could you let us kick this respiratory bug and maybe give us a long term break from illness too?

I can handle the rest.  I’ll stick it out with school.  I’ll continue the battle with the kids and veggies.  I’ll work hard at my job.  I’ll try not to get pissy when Todd leaves the q-tips on the bathroom counter.

It’s time for bed.  Things are a mess and we have a mini-pool about how long it’s going to take to get settled in.  I’m calling it at 6 weeks.  Todd is saying 2.  I think he’s an optimist, but if it motivates him, awesome.

cheers,
moonfire

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s