I am tired, very tired.

I have some things that I need to do but my brain is zapped and my body is wiped out.  It’s 9pm and I finally got dinner about 10 minutes ago.  It seems like this was an endless day and I suppose that’s ok, but I could seriously use about 12 hours of sleep.

I am learning a lot at work.  If I stop to consider it for a moment, it sinks in how little I know and how far I have to go.  I seriously hope I’m worth all the work for them.  I like the people there – a lot.  We all seem to feel the same way about the combination of talents it takes to be successful there and it gives me some peace.

I will have to find my own sense of resolution about the situation with the hiring.  I dislike the sense that I am starting off on the wrong foot because of this (with people other than my boss and peers), but I also have to believe that those in charge know what they are doing.

Tomorrow is a new day to keep working hard and trying to absorb as much as is possible.  Some is familiar.  Some is bordering on familiar and some is alien to me.  I will need to learn the locations of things, the terminology and the patterns of the office.  I’m good with all of this.  It’s a challenge, but it’s do-able.

The most difficult part is sitting and listening, rather than doing.  I understand this is a part of the process, so I can hang in there but it is truly exhausting.

Normally I’m completely impatient.  This time there is nothing to be impatient about.  I have to go through these stages in order to do what I’m needed to do.  So that’s how it will go.

Now it’s time for a warm, soothing bath and a good night’s sleep.  There is nothing more I can do for today.  I can only imagine what tomorrow will bring.  I have a good measure of confidence in how this will all come out.  And that’s all the energy I have left for now.

happy 41st birthday to me and thanks to all my friends and family for the well wishes… it has been a good day,

moonfire

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One thought on “I am tired, very tired.

  1. You will succeed.
    There is no reason for you not to.

    I’m not sure how things went during the first times at your previous jobs. What I know is that it took ME always a month or more to really know what I was doing, and really know where all the stuff is that I needed for doing my job. (And even then, I could be found months later digging through cupboards and files, trying to locate one thing or another.)

    You can do it, GF! You can, you can, you can!
    🙂

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