The update and a few thoughts

I am finding some sort of peace with this week and I feel like I can finally write about everything – at least everything related to the interviews, my current position, and the people around me who are so incredibly supportive.

Monday’s interview was formal and structured.  It had all the overtones I expected and the team impressed me with their warmth, intelligence, and even their humor.  The one on one meeting with Barb was unexpected in how amazingly supportive and reinforcing she was.  I have never really experienced that in an interview.  She turned out to be so much more than I could ever have expected and I left the interview glowing, with a huge smile on my face.

But, as always, my confidence was still a bit shaky.  Who were the other candidates?  How did I rank in terms of qualifications?  My hope was that I had set the bar high and considering that Barb immediately told me my presentation was excellent after the group interview, I felt justified in having some level of confidence.

They interviewed a total of five of us, over a two day period.  I think I was possibly the first and that felt a bit unnerving.  How was I going to make it through the wait, especially when I was told it was likely to be about two weeks before I would know?

So Monday and Tuesday passed, with a gradually increasing sense of painful curiosity keeping me on my toes.

Wednesday evening came and I got the first email from one of my references – she was contacted and she gave me an excellent reference.  Thursday, I got two more contacts from my references (bless them anyway!).  In each case, my references told me they had given glowing comments about me but more than that was the sense of enthusiasm they were expressing about my seeking this position.  I am really blessed to have such a great group of people who believe in me.

Later on Thursday I got the call about the informal interview for Friday and that was the point when my hopes went even higher.  How could I not gather together some hope?  I wanted to prepare on Thursday evening, so I’d be ready for that Friday morning meeting, but more important matters came up.  It is hard to focus on something that felt a bit selfish in the face of what the family was experiencing.  I couldn’t stop thinking about Marcus and Colleen.  Ultimately, I had to give myself the space to go through the feelings.  I sat with my children and Todd, when he got home, enjoying the time we were together.  I chose to focus where it was most important.

When I got to Friday morning, I felt a bit fragile.  It is difficult to focus on yourself – to feel like you’re being selfish – but at the same time this whole outcome impacts my little family in a big way.  For the long term, this is huge for me too.  So I set aside my feelings and I went in.

It was fun.  I was surprised at the comfort I felt.  I got a tough question about what I thought my old boss, the former Chair of Econ, would say about me.  Why was this tough?  Well, he can be a surprising person and a free-spirit.  I wasn’t sure truly what he’d say, but I know what our dynamic was and I fell back on that.  I wish I could say if I was certain that I was on track with what he might have said.  Any other reference would have been easier.  But no, they picked the hardest one!

I loved answering the question about what unique traits I could bring to the department and when I mentioned my interests in tech, I got another great piece of feedback!  My ISM degree would have great value in that department.  All the work from the last year has value.  This was a drastic change and highly unexpected.

OH.  And they once again told me my presentation was excellent.  Given how I agonized over it and how much prep work I put into it, I can honestly say this praise went straight to my head.  How fantastic to have your hard work be so well appreciated!

There is more – so much more, but I’m getting tired and I want some sleep.  What I will say, for now, is that I firmly believe I’ll be chosen.  Could I be wrong?  Could my sense of how it went and my intuition be off?  Certainly.  But if I were the type to make bets on a thing, I would say that I believe it will happen.  I don’t know how I’m going to maintain my sanity while I wait to find out, but I’ll try to hang in there.

They are a wonderful group of people.  I am ready to move out of my comfort zone and take the step I know I need to do.  Am I nervous that I WILL be picked?  Oh hell yes.  It is much easier to strive for something than it is to actually achieve it!  Think about the dog chasing the car!  What do you do when you actually get it?

In my case, it’s perhaps a better situation that the dog and the car (I seriously hope).

I guess it’s bed time now.  I need some healthy sleep.

cheers from the world of moonfire


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