There is so much to write and I just don’t know that I can find the words. So I suppose all I can do is try. That is the best I can do, given the circumstances.
Tomorrow at 8:30 am I have the second interview. The very nice woman I am coordinating with told me that it will be informal, but still a part of the interview process. A couple of my references have told me that they’ve been contacted and of course they said they gave good feedback about me.
Today my brother in law had 2/3’s of his stomach removed due to cancer. My sister in law has a heart condition and has been in bad shape during the course of the day. My in laws are with her while he is in the hospital. His family has gathered here in town too.
My children both have low-grade temps, so we’re keeping them home. The little guy needs to stay home, away from my in laws so they aren’t running the risk of sharing infection with my sister in law.
I talked to my boss today, about how I haven’t taken risks over the years. I’ve played it safe and those decisions have brought me to this time and place. It’s time to stop playing it safe with my professional life. Tomorrow I’ll do my best. If things go well, that’s great. If they don’t, I’m not giving up.
Time is this strange thing, kind of elastic. You puddle along, sure that you’ve got everything figured out. One day though, you come to that point – the one where you know with total certainty that you’ve hit that moment of before and after. There will always be the history before that moment, almost an innocence, and then there is the time afterwards where nothing will ever be the same.
My sister in law is very special to me. I have often thought that she and I are very similar in our temperament and characteristics. She is Todd’s little sister, born in May and he was born September 16. I’m a May baby and my little sister was born September 16. There are even more similarities, but let’s just leave it there for now. I keep thinking about how her world has been shaken – how she has experienced that before and after. When her husband got the news on the cell phone while they were driving home from Easter vacation, her whole world shifted.
It has shifted again today and I am hoping, even praying, that the after is that realization that he’s going to fight his way back from this.
I should get back to prepping for tomorrow but right now, all I feel is this deep tired.
I think I’ll sleep for now.