So this is apathy.

There are times when a person has to retreat, whether it is mentally or physically, even emotionally.

I suspect this is a protective mechanism, something that allows a person to heal from whatever it is they need to get over.  The difficulty is expressing this in an understandable way to those around that person.  No matter what is said, someone will interpret it in some negative manner.

I understand this.

I’d like to hide out in my home for a week or two, regroup and come out a better person.  At least that would be the plan.  Obligations of various natures don’t allow for this, so instead, I feel a sense of disconnect that is growing steadily.  My little family is my safety line, keeping me tethered to reality and normalcy.

The question that lingers just below the surface of this gray feeling is this:  how do I manage what I need while still taking care of the things that I must?

It’s intriguing from a distant, scholarly point of view.  Living it?  Not so much.

Perhaps it’s nothing more than fatigue.

I had the chance to peruse some really interesting writing the other day.  It made me wonder what it would be like, being able to bring together words like that.

I suppose that’s a thought for another day.

For now, the evening is here and I’m very glad.  It was a long, long day of relative nothingness.

moonfire

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2 thoughts on “So this is apathy.

  1. I understand that feeling exactly. I am having a very introspective week. Have written a few post in my drafts and feeling guilty that none are funny. Hoping to get through my slump soon and able to do the other things I need to do that I’ve put off. Don’t like feeling this way.

  2. How to reconcile needs with should’s?
    With taking time out, maybe?
    Not a whole day or week, like you wish, but maybe an hour here and there?
    Of course, the gray weather right now is not very inspiring for our cheery side…

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