I need to write but I think I need sleep even more. I survived today, although I was massively tired. I didn’t sleep well last night and it impacted most of my day.
I’ve been rattling a thing in my head for the last two days and I simply couldn’t let it go. I confirmed the irritation by looking through old paperwork and I’d hoped it would ease my mind, but of course it just riled me up even more. Then I talked to Todd and he echoed what I was feeling perfectly, without it being my prompting. It’s amazing how that took the edge off of my feelings. Suddenly I understood – I’m not alone. I knew this before and it’s not that I had conveniently (or not so conveniently) forgotten, rather it’s a case where it was a gentle nudge.
I think that’s what being married is about for us… that sense that we are connected in who we are, what we care about, and our love for each other, as well as our love for our family.
I got peace just knowing that it wasn’t me, in all my OCD glory. Even my built-in stabilizer was feeling that same sense of something being a bit off.
Now it matters less and maybe, as the days pass it will gradually fade to a small irritating echo. I’m good with that. If it crops up again, I’ll address it. For now, I’m fine.
But sometimes you have to admit – everything happens for a reason. There is a pattern to things, if you just care to look.
On a final note, Bren’s best friend won’t be joining him in the GATE class – he is being placed in the highly gifted program and so he’ll be heading off to a different school. I know we’re disappointed, but we’re also happy because this little boy needs the special services they can offer in that specialized program. I am still stunned that the existing school didn’t even want to assess him. I can imagine how it would have gone too – gradually, over the next couple of years they would have insisted that he had behavioral problems until finally medication would have been suggested.
Well. In the midst of our being bummed for us, we are happy for him. And it’s going to be a fun thing to watch both the boys continue to grow. Their friendship will continue to survive the distance and there will be plenty of chances for playing. I’m trying to imagine these two kids when they are big – like high school age. There is so much possibility ahead for them!
I suppose I should close here and get myself to bed. I have to write a paper tomorrow morning and I’m highly unmotivated – not by the topic or the research I’ve done, but by the “HAVE TO” of it. Ugh. My mother will attest: I HATE being told I HAVE to do something. blech.
here’s to the joy of sleep and a pillow and blankets to snuggle under,