Todd’s gramma passed away this morning. I’ve been remembering some of the funny, frustrating things she used to say to me – before the dementia made it hard for her to express much that was recognizable of her old self. She was bossy, direct, and she drove my father-in-law to red-faced anger faster than anyone I’ve ever seen. And she loved her kids, as well as her grandkids, in a fierce way. She was not subtle. She had beautiful short white hair and she wore bright colors. She was probably hell on wheels in her younger years, but I only knew her for the last 12 years of her life and yeah, she could be hell on wheels then too.
I liked her, even though sometimes she could send me into a tizzy because she wouldn’t let up on me about drinking milk.
She got to hold her two great-grandkids, even though I know she wasn’t entirely sure who they were. But little cherubic faces are sweet, no matter what, and I hope she knew… just a bit, that they were part of her too, even if it was just our funky family tree and not dna that connected them to her.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about how we’re the sum of the generations of our families. We can get absorbed by our day to day living and forget what that means. When I pass out of this lifetime, my family will be the one part of it that I most treasure, so I think I’ll take what we’re feeling right now and keep my mind centered on what is important. The rest isn’t worth fretting about.
And finally… A really lovely woman that I used to work with had very sad news a couple days ago. Her youngest daughter died very suddenly, due to a blood clot in her heart. It is even sadder that her daughter was on layover, returning to our town from New York. My heart aches for this woman’s loss. If I could have one, and only one, wish? Please, please, please let me pass before my children.
It has been a long day – a long week – a long year. I’m going in to work tomorrow and I just hope I make it through the time with a quiet heart. Peace to all. Hug your loved ones.