I’m worn out. I had high hopes for the day. I thought I’d get to work, plug in my little light and get on with the back to back grind of dialing out the queue.
Got in the van this morning, started out of the driveway and it was like driving in sludge. Immediately stopped and sure enough, there in the cold dark I could just make out a totally flat tire. The van is too big to leave in the road, so I pulled back into the driveway, wincing at the thought of what it might be doing to my rim. I got out, looked at it and what remained of the tire had started to pull off the rim.
So then it was a call to AAA and a call to work, when someone was finally in to answer. I was an hour and 15 minutes late getting in and I’m the only one on the early shift, so it was just me… late, playing catch-up.
The day descended from there.
Some days it’s hard to put one foot in front of the other. It’s like an uphill fight, only there’s no peak – no summit. Some days it’s like running upwards, thinking you see the top when all it is are long distances with hints of some kind of end.
Today was one of those days.
I got the tire replaced this afternoon. I got the other front tire replaced too, as it was close to biting the dust.
There’s a long, long list of other things that I should be doing… studying for the final, giving the kids a bath, running yet another batch of laundry… and that doesn’t touch the list of “mommy-do’s” that is building up – get the car repaired, clean the house, go to doctor’s appointments…
I’m really tired. I’d like to take a vacation from a lot of things right now. Maybe even just turn off my head for about a month. I talked to a lot of people today and I kind of get the impression they feel the same. They are grumpy, tired and just want a break from software systems issues, work pressures and all the little things that eat at you until you’re a worn nub.
I wish I could drink. I’d have something really tasty and lift a glass, just briefly, for each one of the cranky folks I talked to today.
And then I’d drink it down and lie on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Because I’ve had it.
No more, ok?
Thanks… I appreciate it.