Small things

I’m trying a few things to turn around my present “state”.  I’m taking my music with me, to work, and I’ll take a break or two and go for short walks in the sun.  I’m also doing a detoxing cleanse.  I’m hoping that it will help me shake off the ill-effects of poor nutrition and high stress.

I got to cuddle my boys last night.  Maybe it wasn’t for a long spell, but it was something.  Tomorrow is the company picnic.  Todd’s bringing the boys so I’ll actually get to connect them to what I’m doing for Cougar.  It’s important to me.  Maybe if they are able to be there physically, where I work, it won’t feel so disconnected.

I don’t know.  These are small things I’m doing, trying to feel like I can pull all the disparate areas of my life together into a cohesive whole.  I keep visualizing myself sitting in the middle of a big pile of to-do items and obligations, pulling them to me while another one drops away.  I’m beginning to hate the term “multi-tasking” and suspect it’s a giant crock of crap.

Then, when I’m busy, I seem to be able to let it go for a while…  and next thing I know, the day has ended and I’m home where it feels right.  Yeah.  I need to shake this off.

This morning I’m having almond milk, banana, fresh blueberries and my detox powder in a shake.  I survived yesterday’s detox until I got home and realized I didn’t have time or ingredients for the required healthy dinner.  I won’t confess to what I ate, but simply say that I will be good today.  Tomorrow at the picnic I’ll limit myself and not go crazy.  Mostly I’m just in it to have my family with me….

Time for bath and work.  Maybe a kiss from a small child before I head off…



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