A better day….

Got sleep last night.  Still tired today, but have begun to think that getting these two classes done will solve the core of the problem.  Had both a good and a rough day at work.  I felt like I was groping around to get things done with my customers, but I got a compliment from one of them (and her sister).  I contributed today, even if it was still minimal.

I am really wiped out and decided to take a night off from working out.  I’ll get to the gym Saturday and Sunday, even if it’s just basic walking/cardio.  But no matter what, the focus this weekend has to be on finishing up my classes and getting that pressure off my back.

I’m not worried about the finals, but I am concerned about my motivation concerning the final projects.  I think this is the big problem with being worn out…. it undermines my ability to do what needs to be done.  I’ll find it and I’ll do the work, but it will be a huge fight to the finish line.

Now… with my next class, I plan to address it more like I did my first one…  I handed the final project in early and I got the final out of the way in a timely manner.  I was on top of it and I had good focus.  This is a different situation, with the two classes, but I could have handled it better… I suppose.

Ahhh well.  It’s all about learning…

***

Bren is off camping with his grandpa.  It’s a father/son camping trip and if Todd’s 20th HS reunion weren’t this weekend, he’d be going with the boys.  I miss Bren, but I’m excited that he gets this one on one time with his grandpa.  And I guess this brings me up to an uncomfortable thought…  It’s good that they’re together.  Bren was always (and still is) a tough kid to deal with sometimes.  He is passionate, emotional, dramatic and very intense.  I think he’s wonderful, but I also know that he can press you into insanity.  Aidan, by contrast, is mostly easy and crazy-funny.  He’s more laid-back than Brennan, although… apparently, we all share the same hot temper.  But no matter how you shake it out, Aidan is easier to deal with.  This means that sometimes I worry that Bren will not be appreciated as much for who he is…

All of this is ironic, really, when you consider that I often feel like my dad doesn’t even think about Aidan at all.  This is a touchy subject for me and one I am cautious to write about, but where I’m headed here is this:  I think it could be easy for people to end up with a “favorite” between the two boys and it bugs the hell out of me.  I love my boys to the ends of the universe and back again and just thinking about someone choosing one over the other hurts me for them.  (If that makes any sense at all??)

They are both my guys – each with their own, independent spirit and strengths/weaknesses.  Maybe, in the end, all I want is for them to be appreciated for themselves…

Ok.  My small dude is home and we’re going to go have some dinner together.  Then it’s homework, review and early to bed so I can be really rested for tomorrow’s tests.

Cheers to all on this mellow day,
moonfire

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One thought on “A better day….

  1. I just started worrying about how number two will relate to everyone, it can be hard to love them so fiercely and hope that everyone else does too or at least sees the best in them rather than judge them.

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