Sounds dramatic, doesn’t it? Well, maybe so, but it’s the truth. I was standing in our conference room just now, stirring the chili/cheese hot dip that is bubbling in my crock pot and I realized that this is probably the last time I’m going to make it. I have a yogurt/fruit salad that I will start bringing to potlucks, if they have such things at my new job.
Why the distinction? Well… I’m done with this old life that has led to my being overweight, exhausted, and intellectually-stunted. I turn 40 on Monday and I think that’s as good a time as any to move forward with new attitudes, about everything.
I am more confident right now than I have been since my 20’s. I am motivated. I know who I am and what I want in life. I know what is important to me and what is not. It’s a sense of impending freedom from old attitudes and fears that is giving me an amazing lift.
So no more bringing unhealthy foods to work… No more ignoring my body and not taking care of my health. If I look after myself better, I can take better care of my family and be there more for them.
No more discounting my talents, skills, intelligence…
The future is bright and wide and vastly open. It’s going to be filled with a lot of learning, a lot of work, a lot of love, and a lot of support – both from me and for me. There have been rough times leading up to this point. There were times when I thought I was never going to pull out of the static place I was.
You know what ended up being the key? Not one thing… not even two or three… It was a whole series of things: My husband and his optimism that I would make the right decision… The friendships that I have formed all around me, both at work and in my personal life… My mum and her cheering me on… My dad and his words of encouragement… My sister with her small comments popping up once in a while… Even my blog buddies rooting for me…
In the end, I had to “pull up my big girl pants” (thanks goes to Susan for making that saying a permanent part of my world)… I had to find confidence in myself and stop sitting on the edge of the nest.
I plan to take off when I leave here today and I’m NEVER going to go back to that old life. It had a time and a purpose. Now it’s time for that fresh future that has been hovering on the outside of my perception. Am I excited? Hell yeah. Am I just a bit scared? Um, yep to that one too.
When I was a little girl and I was jumping off of something in search of a big adventure, I used to yell, “Geronimo!”
Well… here I go…