I went for that swim… even though my swimsuit is an effort in hideousness… even though I was a bit late for work because I couldn’t find my office keys and I spent a huge amount of time searching for the damn things before I realized that I’d just have to go, or I’d miss my swimming time.
I went and I was alone in the pool, which I hate, but I suffered through any way. Every horror movie I’ve ever seen about someone in a pool alone seems to flash quick, bright thoughts through my head while I’m swimming in a pool alone… so much so, that I end up taking tiny peeks to one side as my head goes under the water… Did I see something out of the corner of my eye? Which really is kind of funny because I’m so blind without my glasses that a great white shark could be in the pool with me and I’d probably think it was a fat man in a gray wetsuit.
And I had to ask the pretty, skinny, svelte lifeguard if she could warn me when it was a few minutes before 8am, so I wouldn’t keep swimming past the end of the lap swim time.
And I managed to swim all of about 10 lengths before my sad flabby arms told me they’d had enough and I gave up so I could work my way to the dive tank for some treading water. I made it and felt just a bit silly.
I even managed to tread water and end it right about 7:55am. I told the same lifeguard referred to above that I did ok, not meaning that I actually was triumphant in my small attempt to increase my fitness level or that my swimming was all that good, but rather that I’d managed to time myself out of the pool before the swim was done. She gave me a smile and told me I was just fine, which I took as a nice thing.
I got into my office 20 minutes later… hair damp, body just a tiny bit sore from the limited bit of work I gave it. My neck still hurts and the headache lingers in the back of my teeth and jaw, suggesting to me that it is, indeed, the tension winning out.
But I did it.
For whatever it might be worth in the greater scheme of the calories I burned or the muscles that got a bit of work… I did it.
I like the lingering trace of chlorine I can smell in my now dry hair. I like the way my skin feels slightly snug from the immersion and cleaning afterwards. I like the memory of my breath and the warm, fatigued pull that I got in my arms.
I like the fact that I’ll be back in there tomorrow morning, but not Thursday because there’s a big, white computer-printed sign that tells me there won’t be hot water on Thursday morning and no matter how much I want to swim then too, I won’t suffer an ice-cold shower afterwards. Not even for a swim.
Time for application review and studying.