NOT another Insomnia Blog – Sore Throat Blog 1.0

Woke up about 3am, throat is killing me and the cough started up again.  I’m drinking fluids and even did the work for hot tea.  Trying to soothe my throat and clear it enough so I can go back to sleep.

Read an article in Time while I was in the doctor’s office waiting for Bren to come out.  It was about a Palestinian man who’s three daughters (all aged 9 and under), his wife, and his mother were shot in front of him.  Even now, at 3 in the morning, I find myself tearing up as I think about it.  Strip away the nationality of the man and think about that… His youngest was 2 years old and she was shot by a soldier.

Under what possible circumstances could any soldier believe that a 2-year old was a threat?

And believe me, I’m not about to get into some political rant about this side or that side.  Too many countries, armies, groups… too many of them have participated in the killing or harming of children.  If I could have that one magical wish – the one that would instantaneously happen?  It would be that a person intent on doing harm to a child would simply vanish from the planet.  Poof.  You’re gone.  Or perhaps, even better, what ever harm you will manifest on another will be made manifest on you.

I like that even better.  Want to stone a woman for being a rape victim?  Those who commit the act bear all the pain – in fact the rapists bear the pain for their acts.  Going to shoot someone – the shooter bears the injury.

I’ve talked about existential depression before, but this sadness about our world goes deeper than that.  How is it possible that the same humanity that can create such beauty can be capable of such insanity and horror?  So much of it is committed in the name of religion… nationalism…. ideology.

I don’t know how we live with ourselves.  If I think about this for any length, I find myself wondering how we can be true thoughtful beings considering this and not completely shut down with grief for humanity.  Do we offset it with the idea of the beautiful side of humanity?  Do we remember the acts of kindness?  Do we say “Yes, but…”

Can any act of goodness offset the bad?

I don’t know.

And how am I ever going to be able to explain this to my children?  I can’t even figure out answers to give myself.



One thought on “NOT another Insomnia Blog – Sore Throat Blog 1.0

  1. Each one of us has the capacity to inflict indescribable cruelty as well as kindness and love. Just look at Hitler: on one side you’ve got the man ultimately responsible for the holocaust and on the other you have people in his inner circle who, with varying degrees of credibility, paint a portrait of the kind, gentle Adolph they knew.

    On a personal level I like to think that anything bad I do is balanced by the good things, but at a macro level I don’t buy it. The French Government’s aknowledgement that a previous government was, in fact, responsible for sending thousands of people to their death during WW2 means nothing, much like our own government’s apology for the Japanese internment camps. I’m not even going to touch the Japanese denial of their war atrocities.

    I think you’ve got to take the good and the bad in stride. The (hopefully) truly terrible people are are karmicly balanced by a multitude of folks like us, who are a wash individually, but who’s good add up to something great when combined.

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