Just got back from my first day going to the gym. I like it, much the way you like banging your head against a brick wall because it feels so good when you stop.
The best part (truly) was the hot shower afterwards. Nothing makes you happy like a hot shower in the middle of the day…
But what counts here is that I got off my duff and did it. I work across the street from the rec center on our campus, so truthfully I have no excuses. Even today I procrastinated like a mad woman. I don’t know what the deal is… Maybe it’s that I’m embarrassed that I’m so overweight and so out of shape? Perhaps.
I remember, once upon a time, when I was young, supple, and thin, thinking that I would never “let myself go.” In my arrogance and naivete, I never imagined things like parental fatigue, massive job and school and financial stress, or convenient foods. I never reckoned with slowing, aging metabolism or the after-effects of pregnancy and the subsequent “brain fuzz” that accompanies it.
I also never imagined being so depressed and blah that I would simply lie down and let time run me over.
I never saw my world without dancing.
And yet, here I am…
The most difficult part today was facing all those youngsters and letting myself not worry about it. Oh yeah… It was also hard to not start dancing when a good song came up on the shuffle (which is most of them).
At least I didn’t hum along.
I am proud of myself for going and looking forward to Thursday when I head back again. Mondays and Wednesdays are out because they’re tutoring days – at least until we get our small car registered… then I’m planning to drive in early and go swimming on Mondays and Wednesdays.
I’m taking steps, no matter how small or pathetic. I expect to see an increase in energy by the time I get to my 40th birthday in May. I expect to see some inches disappear, hopefully sooner AND later.
I will drink my water and hope that I gradually turn the tides that have led to where I am now.
As for the immediate future? I’ll be a hurting unit tomorrow. I suspect those weights I did are going to mean so SORE muscles tomorrow. And I’m good with that too.