Sitting at a crossroads, wondering what to do…

I’m sitting here, looking at two options and wondering what to do. 

My heart is looking at going for it – getting my teaching degree and doing something that will be exhausting, rewarding, and soul-fulfilling.

My head is looking at the odds facing me – the very likely possibility that I will still be stuck in this job come July 1, facing the loss of the fee waiver and not being able to afford to finish my teaching degree… so I’ve found a tech program that I could do and still work full-time.  I could do the Info. Tech. technical degree, with an emphasis in Information Security and Forensics.  I might even be able to do it in 18 months.  If I choose the IT degree, I’ll be getting it on a fee waiver with the new CC….

Teaching degree: 3 years full-time classes while I work full-time (plus my pt tutoring job).

IT degree: 2 years or less while I work full-time.

Teaching – working with children, helping them to love reading and building up skills that will be with them for the rest of their lives.

IT – working with grown-ups that often act like children…. but doing problem-solving and figuring things out (which I really enjoy).

Teaching – summers with my children but not a great salary (trying to figure out if the last part matters and I guess it does if I end up having to pay for this with student loans)…

IT – salary that would be better but working all the time.

Oh hell.

I want to teach.  At the same time, I’d enjoy IT…  It’s an area that I’m already interested in. 

If I end up stuck at the CC, I may not be able to afford to finish my graduate degree.  If I am lucky enough to find another position at the U before the transition happens, then I’d be ok.

Why is it important to make this decision now?  Well – I’d have to apply and get my tests done for the tech program.  Spots are filling up due to layoffs here.  And I don’t have the money or time to waste on one semester in the wrong program.  Plus, and this is a biggie, the longer I sit in this limbo state, the more likely I am to come unglued.

Classes start January 20th. 

I was awake at 4:30 this morning, thinking about it.  The teaching path is the hard path, to be honest.  It’ll be longer… take more work… pay less…  But I think about the kids I’ll be tutoring and the ones I meet each day.  I think about all the life ahead of them and how, if someone really cares and works hard for them, they can have so much.

I also think about my children and what I need to do to look after them.  I think about our bills and how the job I’m in doesn’t cut it.  I think about how long the next couple of years will be if I don’t have some kind of “ladder” leading up and out of here.

Do I have the patience to be a good teacher?  Do I have the creativity?

Would a technical degree be satisfying to me?  Would I enjoy the work?

What is the balance between a paycheck and a career?

What is the answer here?

I feel like I’m stuck between the practical and the emotional.  There is no crossover here…  it’s one or the other. 

No.  I don’t need to decide today, but I need to pull it together in the next week or so.  If I want a tech spot, I’ll have to take it. 

It’s time to talk to my honey about this.  I wish he wasn’t sleeping today….

moonfire.

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2 thoughts on “Sitting at a crossroads, wondering what to do…

    • This is actually a really interesting idea. I’ll check into it. The difficult part is that my undergraduate degree is in English and I’m not sure, but I believe I’d still need to go through the certification process…. and that’s the process that’s going to take me a couple of years.

      IPT at the adult level wouldn’t require it though… hmm…

      Thank you for such a thoughtful reply. Problem-solving is so much better when you have objective voices chiming in!

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