one small step forward

I just got the notification email that the tutoring company has students for me.  I’m excited, yet scared.  This is my first assignment and I hope I can do a good job.  I’ll be logging in on the website today, so I can do some of the review on how to do assessments and how to work with students. 

I have to call the coordinator sometime today.  She’ll give me the information and then it’s up to me to contact the family so we can set our schedule.  We’re almost to the end of the week, so I wonder if I should be starting this weekend?  I suppose a lot depends on what the family would prefer. 

I’m still recovering from the illness and I was really stupid last night.  I went to bed too late and naturally midget drawers had me awake at 4:15.  I’ve had approximately 4 hours of sleep.  I’m fine now, but later today (ie, 10am or so), I’ll be dead.

I read some comments to a blog yesterday and there were several people on there going on and on about getting a second job to make ends meet.  I have a comment back to folks who think it’s really that simple – take some time and try to get an interview.  I’m serious.  Just try.  My husband was 80th on the register for a position that pays $11.24 an hour.  Yes.  There were 79 people in front of him and who knows how many behind him?

That job actually had rankings for people with accounting degrees.  I’m not kidding.

UPS has continually had an ad running on for seasonal help.  So my husband and his co-worker (who is desperate for a job because his wife just had their second baby) immediately put in their applications… and UPS doesn’t currently have any openings here.  It ticks me off because they’ve been running that ad here for OVER two months.  If you don’t have the jobs available, please don’t post for them.

The only thing that ticks me off even more are the supposed postings for openings that are actually click-thru advertising scams.  You email the “employer” and get an email back telling you to go post your resume to this location.  It’s nothing more than a revenue generator.  Thanks jerk.  Wasted time AND hope because you’re an ass. 

I’m tired.  I’m grumpy.  I packed a good lunch today and that’s going to be the highlight of my day.  The writing I did yesterday wasn’t what was needed, but that’s ok.  What can you do, right?  I gave it a shot.  It lit a small fire, but I think that some reality is hitting over here.

I want to be happy, sitting here in this little, cozy office.  I have great co-workers that I love and a job that I loathe.  Duties were just added that make me want to chew through my wrists.  And I want to know why the hell I’m getting spam in my work email??

I’m hoping that starting the tutoring will make a difference.  If I’m focusing on helping someone else, I can stop my own personal pity party.  And that’s exactly what it is.  So what if I hate my job and I don’t make enough to look after my family?  There are people out there so much worse off than me that I need to keep some perspective.  It doesn’t change the stress or the worry…  It just makes me hang in here, even though I feel a bit like a hamster on a wheel. 

And I’m going to stop reading those ignorant comments that crop up out there.  I don’t need to piss myself off even more. 

Wake me up when it’s over….


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