I don’t want to go to bed

It’s harder to breathe when I lie down, so I’m caught in the paradox of being exhausted and not wanting to go to bed.

I have lots of things I might like to write about but I’m simply not feeling the spirit.  Why bother to make a critical commentary on the news when it likely won’t have much impact?  I want to shout about everything going on but it’s just another voice in a huge chorus… inevitably lost.  I just read about credit card issuers raising rates and raising fees because of the losses they’re taking.  From my perspective all I can see is that they’re going to tip people who otherwise would have held on through the crisis into a bad, bad situation.  But that’s just me and what do I know?

Maybe that’s just it….  we need to get away from credit.  Maybe, and ooh, this will raise a fuss… maybe we are following the wrong path.  Debt isn’t good – we know that.  So why is our society so credit-focused?  I don’t understand it.

Todd’s unloading our boxes of books and putting them away.  Well… he’s putting away what he can.  We don’t have enough space for all of them.  We need to thin them out but so many are like our family, beloved and revisited whenever possible.  It’s a beautiful sight, though.  They make it feel more like home.


The kids are in bed and I’m gradually giving in to the idea that I have to do the same.  It was a misery waking up this afternoon, but maybe tomorrow will be better.  The bug has settled nicely into my lungs and is giving me a throaty voice right now.  Too bad I feel too crappy to enjoy it.

I suspect that things will look just as crappy tomorrow as they do today, so there’s no sense in putting it off.  Bed is calling to me.  I hope I’m able to sleep and start feeling human tomorrow.  I’m tired of pills, sinus rinse kits, and the nose spray.  Can I please be done with this?

For that matter, can I please be done with worrying about everything for a while?



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