Sitting in the quiet morning

Maybe I should correct that.  It’s not really quiet… I’ve got laundry going (and yes, with our family, laundry is a constant thing).  The tv is on with the morning news.  There’s the slight clicking of the keys on my laptop…  So no, it’s not completely quiet.  What makes me feel that it is quiet and peaceful is the sleeping family upstairs.  No, “Mom… Mom… Mom…” and no random chattering, giggling, crying, sniffling, bumps, thumps, and crashes.  Todd isn’t puttering in the background.

It’s just me, for perhaps the next 15 to 20 minutes.  I’m showered and ready to go, except for the jeans in the dryer…

This is my time – time for thinking, writing, destressing, and maybe even just breathing deeply.  I’ve been pondering all the change going on for us and the sense that we’re trying to find our feet.  It’s hard.  Todd is wrapped up in his studies, trying to keep things going here, and trying to cobble together jobs/work that help support our family.  I’m trying to keep my head up in my classes, struggling to find my identity and be productive at work, and I’m really trying to be attentive and present for my kids.

My big project right now is to just keep making a little progression forward each day.  I got a lot of research done yesterday.  I got through Aidan’s 18-month appointment, traumatic with shots (3) and yet funny because my little guy kept giving the doctor and the nurses suspicious looks.  Boy, he’s sure got a bead on what people are up to.  His doctor gave him a new book and as it turns out, this one is great for both boys so booktime last night was fun.

I’ve thought more about my feelings that came out of the parent-teacher conference and I’ve decided that all parents go through this stuff, no matter the level of their kids.  It’s simply the nature of parenting… although, maybe you worry more about this stuff if you are an engaged parent.  There are certainly those parents out there who don’t worry, but I think we’re more normal than we’ve given ourselves credit for.

Anyway.  I have paperwork to complete for the tutoring company and I need to get my stuff in for fingerprinting and the background check.  I don’t want to sit still on this.  It’d be easy to keep putting it off, but I think I’ll get off my duff and take care of it today.  I also need to work on the edits for Todd’s proposal.  I’m counting down to the meeting with my ECE advisor/director next week.  Maybe I should sit down and put together bulleted points about where I was and where I am now.  Nuts.  That reminds me that I need to start writing my financial aid appeal too.

So much to do…  more research and writing up a distillation of the research to share with my expert group.  I want it to be useful material, but I’m not entirely certain that I’ve hit the core of what was needed.  The “definitions” were a bit hazy.

Well…. it’s 7:00am now and it’s time to get Brennan up and dressed.  I let him sleep as long as I could.  He has a full day at JFK today… playing, coloring, reading.  Boy.  I wish I could do that instead of going to work!

One final thought… and yes, this is one of my dry days… hell, most are dry.  I keep getting distracted by the news.. hard to focus when I keep…. oh hell…. time to give it up.  I think they just ran a story about the Bush family’s dog biting a reporter.

Ah, now the job market news.  Let me comment on that one.  The job market here is tight.  Worse than tight.  Yes, there are some jobs here right now, but the thing is just having some openings doesn’t help… there’s the livable wage factor, the training and education factor…  It comes down to how well those who are looking match the positions that are open.

A final comment and then I have to get Bren up and moving.  I have seen job postings here in Boise that are completely unreal.  These people list massive job responsibilities and skills and then the wage?  $8.00-$9.00-$10.00 per hour.  Are you kidding me??  Single people can’t even support themselves on that wage, let alone a family.

And yet, a CEO can make millions for 3 weeks of work – as the bank that he is running goes down and has to be sold off.

Will someone please explain to me how on earth any of this makes sense?

It makes me want to scream my freaking head off.  We are seriously off track.

Now I’m grumpy.  I guess I’ll go hug my son and count myself lucky to have such a great family.  The rest of it just makes me nuts.



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