I can honestly say that I see a lot in this article that I agree with. Forgive the crappy formatting and all, but I’ve been up since 3:30am and I’m dead tired. I have a headache that won’t die and pain in my left eye. Hard to sleep. Oh… and I can’t stop thinking about work. So my alarm went off at 5:30 and here I am, preparing to get in the shower and start my walk in at 6:30am. Why? Well… a combination of factors, not the least of which is the fact that one of my people (the diva) waited until last minute to get something to me. Instead of leaving her to face the music, I’m going in and I’ll get the entries done. Whether or not I’ll beat the reporting pull is up to whoever it is that generates the report, but I’m going to do my best.
I’m still gritting my teeth. After today I only have 4 more work days and I’m out of there. I just need to do my best and then move on.
My stomach is a mess… I don’t want to take more painkillers (I hate stupid freaking pills) but I really need this headache to leave me alone.
So I just logged on to my work email. Oh boy. It’s all I can do to not just pull my hair out. That last minute stuff from the diva? She added more to it and sent it at 9:20 last night. I will be a good girl (gag) and head in early so I can get the entries done, but this is absolutely unreal. If the entries had solid content, I’d be more inclined to sympathy, but the truth is that they are nothing more than fluff. Not substantial at all.
Let it go… It’ll do no good to work myself into anger over it. I’m already stressed. Bren got his welcome card from his new kindergarten teacher and it’s NOT the one he had requested. It appears that either she isn’t working at that school anymore or they had to add another morning teacher. So this is a new person and Todd & I get to meet her next week.
I’m just praying that she has the same kind of personality at the one Bren had originally picked out. She sent us a letter and we get to go in to meet her plus pick up some at-home materials they’ll have us working on with Bren. I researched the materials and they look like they might fit him well… It’s called the Waterford Reading program (that’s not the entire title but I’m tired, so give me a break). It allows for a lot of self-paced learning, mostly geared to helping learners who need intervention in order to catch up, but after reading the information, I think it’ll also work well for someone who is ahead. It has testing and assessment built in and has a dynamic interface that adjusts to the interactions with the child. I experienced this (in a much different manner) with the GRE, so I’m curious to see how Bren likes it. If it works as intended, I think he’ll really love it.
I like the fact that it is supplemental to his regular in-class experiences. I want him to have fun in kindergarten. This extra program reassures me that the part of him that is advanced won’t be neglected, while the normal little boy in him will get a regular kindergarten experience. That’s a tough balancing act and I’m trying really hard to let it all happen naturally.
But that’s really the hard part these days, isn’t it? As parents, we need to work with our kids and help them to learn, all without allowing any of our own biases and subconscious agendas enter the picture. I’m extremely curious and driven where knowledge is concerned… Todd is extremely tech- and music-oriented. The fact is that Bren has picked up a lot of that from the two of us. I read Jenny’s blog and I see how much Bryant is just like him mum and dad, in all the same ways that Bren is so much like us. It makes me smile to think about how similar the two boys looked when they were babies and how different they are now.
Small aside… when they were babies… oh, I think Bryant was about 10-11 months old and Bren was 8-9 months old… they hugged each other when they were together at the sitter’s house. I am sometimes sad that circumstances separated them, but I still love to think about that.
Anyway, I think it’s cool that our children learn so much from us. The challenge is to let some things be natural for them and to not let our needs and desires direct them too much. I’m not entirely certain how we limit that, or even if it’s really a big thing to worry about. So I love learning and I think all subjects are amazing… That’s not a bad thing. It’s just hard to keep it developmentally appropriate. Then Bren comes along and asks questions and I think, ok, he IS a lot like us. I’m not nuts… he really does want to know these things.
As I tossed and turned and beat my pillow into a pulp this morning, I thought about our boys and how funny they are. Bren has learned so much about how to deal with his emotions and his ability to pick things up is sometimes scary. Then last night, when I was kissing Bren goodnight, I went over to the crib and gave it another try (which I do each night, usually with no success)… I said, “Can momma have a kiss?” and Aidan stood up and tilted his little face up to mine. That was the sweetest kiss in the world… Right up there with the wet one from Bren when he said “I luss you mumma,” at age 2… Or my first kiss with Todd, over 11 years ago…
It’s really easy to get caught up in the drama of life… the busyness and the stress of work, home and family. Once in a while you have to stop yourself, take a deep breath and really let all your blessings flow over you. I can wimp and moan about my job, but I took steps and I’m moving on to something that was only available to me due to the timing of taking this other position for a bit. We went through hell to end up living in this tiny house in the perfect location with absolutely wonderful landlords. Friendships have come and gone… Money has come and gone… Homes have come and gone…
It’s all just the small stuff. The big stuff is what remains now. We’re together and we love each other. We’ve got people in our lives that are amazing, even though we see them so rarely. Those who stick with us are valued, even if we don’t let them know. Our families are wonderful, helping us out in so many ways that I can’t begin to count them. When you strip away the extraneous stuff, what is left is the love we all share. It grows each day. It’s what keeps me moving, step by step, along this weird and winding path.
As for that article. Yeah. I’m a tired, overweight, emotionally drained mom. And you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world.