NOW I’m tired

Good time last night.  Good visiting and got to be with excellent people.  If Rachel, Lonny and Olin had been there, I would have felt like it was a “complete set.”  Ok, but then I’d need to add Corey & Linda, Chet & Stef, and Jim & Joanne.  So no, not a complete set, but crap I miss people.

Still, we got stuck in the post-fireworks traffic so the late night turned into an even later night.  I’m paying for it in a big way and I’d bet Bren is going to be a bear today.  Not enough sleep combined with running around like a madman last night….

Still, I had a good time and I was reminded that I need social interaction in order to stay sane.

Too bad I figured this out just as my dear friend is moving away for two years.  The fact that this intersects with my starting out grad school is probably a good thing, but right now it just feels awful.  Life has changed a lot for us over this past year, new dynamics have been started and we’re busier than we’ve ever been.  But the fact is that you need your friends – to talk to, to laugh with, and sometimes, even to cry with.  Family is wonderful, but in a household of all “men”, I need time with the ladies.  I need to talk about things which the guy factor will never get.

I just went through a surgery that isn’t major, but as far as being life-changing, it’s huge.  When the word “sterility” leapt out at me off the consent I had to sign, it really hit me.

Yes, you can talk about the “V” word with the guys, but honest? They just don’t understand.  Plus I had the Novasure procedure and that’s attending to a whole different issue.  Todd has seen the downsides I’ve been going through with an ultra-heavy cycle (that kept getting worse), but as much as he is around me for it, he can’t know what I’m feeling.  My women-friends know exactly how I’ve been feeling and, even they haven’t experienced it, they understand.

Someone that I used to know once told me that she couldn’t be friends with men (well, she couldn’t be friends with me either, so that kind of says something), but I don’t believe that to be true for normal people.  You can be friends with all kinds of people, including those you don’t agree with or don’t share complete common traits with.  I can enjoy being friends with men, understanding that sometimes it’s BECAUSE they are so totally different from women that we can be friends.  Let me explain that one…  Sometimes you don’t want too much empathy.  Sometimes you just want to hang out, enjoy the conversation and bounce thoughts off each other.

And most of the rest of the time I enjoy having my female friends so we can sit back and go WTF? over things that the men in our lives do.  (or kids, or bosses, or other women…  it’s a toss up who it’ll be)

Friendship with men is simpler than with women.  Too bad that person in the past didn’t get that.  I wonder if she wouldn’t have been happier in life if she’d figured out the value of having male friends.  It also means understanding the complexities of friendship between women and what you need to do in order to care for that friendship.  Yeah, you can leave it untended sometimes, but then you need to come back to it – prune it, water it and give it a bit of food.  Friendship with women is more about giving.  Friendship with men is about simply being yourself and knowing that they’ll only “get” about 30%, sometimes more if the guy is more in touch with his “girl” side… you know who you are, so I don’t need to name names.  [grins]

Anyway, that was a major digression.  Sorry.  I’m pooped.  Last night killed me.  It was worth it to be a zombie today, but I’m barely functioning.  IF the baby goes down for a nap, I’m there too.

Please, please, please… let it be soon.

I won’t weigh myself today.  I’ll report in tomorrow.  Today I need to mow the lawn, water the garden, do some cleaning and take a nap.  I also need to give the kids the baths they didn’t get yesterday.  We had too much else going on.  Sigh.  Every day I try and sometimes I get things done, others I don’t.

I’ll do a bit today but I don’t expect more than that.

Crap… and I need to take my damned pills.

I hate pills.

Stupid pills.

Ok, I’m done.  Enough rambling for today.  The word of the day is “nap.”  Enjoy it.



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