It’s a crazy, crazy world

I’m sending out a big thank you to Steph for answering my worried call for comments.  And yes, Steph, you were right:  my gut was telling me one thing and my worries were stemming from that.  Ultimately, I haven’t given up on my dream, but I did tank those classes.  It had to be done by today so I didn’t lose even more money on it than I had and I feel satisfied with that decision.

Here is the reason I am satisfied with the decision, even as I’m bummed that I won’t be getting that “toe” in the door.  Those classes wouldn’t count towards my graduate degree as no schools in Idaho are ALA certified.  Sad, but there it is.  I was doing them strictly so I could get into an entry level library assistant position with the state and begin accruing years of actual experience.  The state did a refactoring on the three levels of the library assistantship:  Library Assistant 1, Library Assistant 2, and Library Assistant 3.  They dropped each a paygrade under the new system, but in true dollars sense the hit was higher.  Instead of starting the LA1 at $11.24 under the current level, the drop reduced it to starting at $9.77 per hour.

That is a significant and substantial change.  It is one that completely impacted my plans as I was in the same pay level as the LA1 until this change happened.  What could have been a lateral transfer changed to a substantial demotion.

And this is for a position that requires special knowledge.

It blows my mind.  It also created a situation where I had to seriously look at the environment here in our state, as well as the path I was constructing for myself. 

Todd and I ended up talking about everything to do with our futures and our potential careers.  We very much agree about some essential mind-shifts that are necessary for us.  And I suppose this leads me to where I am this morning…  I started out yesterday morning in a certain place, with certain expectations about the future.  Along came these changes in the environment and all of a sudden we both began to look at options that we would never have considered before.  Self-imposed limitations suddenly don’t seem so important.

It’s a fresh new look at the world and all it took was a bit of a “cosmic nudge” to open up the possibilities.

And that leads me to my final thought before I get back to work.  Things DO happen for a reason.  We wouldn’t be in the incredibly open position we are now if things hadn’t fallen together like this.  The loss of the house, the ending of a friendship, this evaporation of job possibilities (for both me and Todd)…  all these things have combined together to free us.  If any one of these hadn’t happened, it is likely we wouldn’t have been able to see all these alternate potential paths.

That is an amazing thing.  It released a few of the emotional shackles I’d been holding on to.  Everything comes out as it should. 

It’s worth a smile.

Having a lighter heart,
moonfire.

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One thought on “It’s a crazy, crazy world

  1. I am SO proud of you!!! What a hard decision to make and us, as Taureans, don’t make decisions lightly. This must have taken a lot of thought and I’m glad you know how much you should always trust yourself.

    You know, I’m hardly ever on the computer anymore but I had a gut feeling to read your blog last night and I’m so glad I could be there to support ANY decision that you made. I believe you made the right one because it came from you. I am especially thankful that you have such a great family that you can go to Todd and talk things through and ALWAYS end up feeling better. I love your relationship and really value our friendship. Miss you greatly!

    Warmest of thoughts and praise!
    xxoo

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