I woke up last night, about 12:30 or so, and couldn’t get back to sleep until after 4am. I did well for most of the day.
Until about 10 minutes ago.
Now I feel the flush of tired crossing my cheeks. I am hot. I am thirsty. I want a nap. I’d love to leave, go home and take a nap, but it’s not in the cards for today. Actually, I just need to hang in here about 1 1/2 more hours and I’ll be on my way. Why does that feel like it’s another 4 hours??
I sat up last night, wondering why I felt so awake at such a horrible time of night. I didn’t have any answers, either. I wasn’t stressing. I hadn’t eaten something horrible just before bed. I’m a teensy bit under the weather still, but nothing unbearable and certainly nothing to keep me up.
I was simply wide awake.
Now I’m not.
I had a great idea for a blog topic this morning, as I was walking in the chill air. I was moving quickly and ideas were bouncing around in my mind. Now the fatigue of no sleep and the dreariness of sitting here at my desk have joined forces and there’s nothing left of that creativity.
My bright spot today? I got to cuddle the baby on my lunch hour. I gave him his bottle, since he was fussing and building himself up into a tiny-guy rage. He’s growing or teething or just not feeling great in general, meaning that he needs extra loves and attention. So Todd made him a bottle and I sat, rocking him in the big comfy chair. He snuggled into me and sat picking at my shirt with his tiny, precise fingers.
After the bottle was done, he leaned over and grabbed my shirt with his two teeth. It’s his habit with me and I wonder what he’s trying to tell me. Once in a while I make the assumption that he’s hungry, but today it had more of the appearance of a small guy just saying hi.
Well, now I’m officially yawning. One of my faculty stopped by and asked if I couldn’t just head home for a nap. Maybe I’ll just bug out a bit early. It’s quiet in here and the stuff I need to do isn’t life and death (as we are told frequently!)…
Here’s the kicker – we have a dinner party to attend at a friends’ home tonight. I’m dead. I’m wiped. This sucks.
Maybe I need to just give it up and head out in about 1/2 an hour.
One final thought… I’m going to miss my babies tonight. But I’m going to love being able to sleep straight through. No nightmares. No crying baby. They don’t wake me up every night, but just knowing that I get to sleep without interruption is a wonderful thing.
I’m glad it’s Friday. I think I’m done in.
moonfire.
